Hope in a Boys World

1 Peter 1:15-21

2012-01-30T14:51:00.002-05:00

1 Peter 1:8-14

2012-01-22T23:11:00.000-05:00

Some wedding pics off my camera...

2012-01-22T11:46:00.002-05:00

My matron-of-HONOR, Valerie. She introduced me to Tim and has been a BFF ever since.

The brunette below is gorgeous (and single!) Suzy. Total catch. God is keeping her for someone special.

These 2 and I have shared it ALL during the last 10 years.

Death, illness, laughter, weddings, prayer, shopping, vacations, etc...

They are so precious to me.

I got my flowers the night before at Sam's and grabbed some pretty green fabric I had in my attic. I LOVED the way they turned out. Thanks for making them beautiful, Suzy. You seriously make everything more beautiful.

Real men wear baby slings... ha!

Some pictures

2012-01-22T11:39:00.000-05:00

Since we got a new computer, I haven't known how to upload anything. I am just figuring it out and found some pictures from the last few months that were cute...

The "girls cousins" fight over Crew. :)

at Thanksgiving...

Never a bad idea to wear head gear inside our house!

If Tim ever loses his job as a dentist, he can open up a nail salon.

Not sure why but the kids love wearing goggles in the bathtub.

Cutie... before he lost his top tooth. :(

Found these pictures on my camera. I am pretty sure I thought they were doing their homework when these were taken. :)

Her cousin Hannah is the grown up version of her...

Crew is delicious! I could eat him up with a spoon...

Vows

2012-01-21T12:02:00.003-05:00

"From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly; before those who fear you will I fulfill my vows." Ps 22:25

Part 2...

1 Peter 1:1-7

2012-01-16T12:04:00.001-05:00

A Ceremony

2012-01-15T10:24:00.006-05:00

The 1 Peter Bible Study is going great! Jennie, Mellette, and I are studying and memorizing as much as we can in order to teach you all that we are learning!

This verse is my theme verse for this study:

"We preach the word of God with sincerity and with Christ's authority, knowing that God is watching us."

2 Cor 2:17

How cool! God is watching us! Three tiny (compared to Him) little girls stepping out by faith to lead a Bible Study. We are blips on the globe, but not to Him. He is watching. That is all that matters.

He prepared this study for us to walk into before the creation of the world. How cool is THAT?

I always say that ministry is just our public dance with Jesus Christ. It is all about our love relationship with Him. That silences the fear of man and the reminders of inadequacies.

He leads: We follow.
It is a dance with the lover of our souls.

Jennie, Mellette, and I have nothing to give of ourselves. We can't impress anyone with our knowledge but we can dance with Jesus. It is ALL ABOUT Him and FOR Him.

I can't wait to listen to Jennie teach tonight about suffering. That girl has suffered so she will speak with authority about grief and glory.

****

Had a random thing happen the other day I wanted to share with you. I was sitting in the parking lot of Hancock Fabrics waiting on my older 2 boys to finish up sewing class. Yep, sewing class. Bubba begged me to let him take sewing classes because he wants to learn how to create things. He and Reece are CONSTANTLY creating. They are artists. The love legos. They build. They imagine. They are both very, very creative. So the thought of being able to create things with a machine sounded like a perfect fit for them. These classes were one of their Christmas presents. I was on board because of this verse...

"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands"

1 Thess 4

Tim's profession is working with his hands. He is very gifted. He can paint a room perfectly without taping, he can cut a watermelon into 100 perfect squares in 2 minutes and he can pull out a wisdom tooth that has roots triple wrapped around someones brain. Learning to work with your hands WILL benefit the boys. So, that is why I said yes to sewing class. They are learning to work with their hands... and they think the machines are really cool. :)

So, I was in the parking lot reading my new book by Dannah Gresh ("Six Ways to keep the "Good" in Your Boy") when a car pulls up beside me in the parking lot. It was a girl who looked like she was on drugs with a guy who was out of it in the passenger seat. She started asking me for money for her flat tire. Of course she wasn't from here and was just trying to get home. She only needed a few dollars.

As I listened to her, I was thinking of what wisdom would be in this situation.

Do I give her money?

She is obviously a captive... and not to a flat tire.

As she was trying to convince me of her dire situation, I stopped her.

I said, "Do you want help?"

She said, "Yes ma'am. My tire is..."

I said, "No. DO YOU WANT HELP?"

She stopped and said "Help?... Help-Help"?

I said, "Yes... Help-Help".

I said, "Can I pray for you?"

She said, "Yes".

I started praying for her. I prayed for Jesus to deliver her from whatever had her bound. For Him to set her free and be her HELP.

It was a pretty intense prayer. I hope He answers it.

I ended up giving her money but told her if she used it for drugs or alcohol that God wouldn't bless it and it would make her sick. She thanked me. Something happened in the spiritual realm. She knew it and so did I. I pray God frees her.

I wasn't as bold as Pastor Bob Coy who prays with them

"Dear Father, bless this person and if they use this money for drugs or alcohol, I pray it will rot their gut." That makes me laugh. He said he had one guy give him the money back after he prayed that.

Next time I think I am going to say this..

"Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk."

Acts 3:6

People are BOUND. They are bound by the enemy and need to be set free. Jesus loves to set captives free but sometimes captives love captivity more than Jesus. Our patterns and sin can get really comfortable. I find the question found in John 5:6 extremely thought-provoking...

"do you want to be healed"?

There was a man in the story who had been ill for 38 YEARS.

"One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him,

“Do you want to get well?”(NIV)

"Wilt thou be made whole?" (KJV)

"Do you want to be made well?"(NKJV)

Listen to those words. It is like my question to the girl in the car... "Do you want help-help?".

Now, my question to you is...

Do you want help? I mean HELP-help.

Do you want to be made whole? Do you WANT to be healed?

Healed of your eating disorder, your sexual addiction, your secret sin that is destroying your life or are you more comfortable to stay in your sickness? Has your sickness become your idol...your beloved friend? Are you more comfortable sitting around in your illness year after year after year of do you WANT TO BE MADE WELL?

If you do, cry out to Jesus. He can do the same for you as He did for the man in the story...

"Jesus told him, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!” Instantly, the man was healed! He rolled up his sleeping mat and began walking!"

John 5:8,9

Roll up your sleeping mat and begin to walk.

********************************

This is a very exciting and busy week for me! I get to teach about 1 Peter 1:8-14 on Sunday. AND, this Thursday, Tim and I are celebrating our 10 year anniversary! I would have never chosen January as my anniversary month but Tim and I both knew we were not to wait any longer because it is “better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Cor 7:9). :) We had met in July, only 6 months before our wedding. God had answered my prayers and brought me to a godly man. God had been very clear that Tim was the one He had chosen for me (Gen 24:44). I believe with all my heart that I was created to be the bride of Jesus Christ... and the bride of Tim Blackiston.

This Friday night, we are renewing our vows to one another in front of our children (since they missed the first one :). I told Tim I want to do it every year in front of them so they will always know the strength of a marriage built on the solid rock of Jesus Christ and so they will always feel secure. We hope to do this every year on our anniversary in a very informal way. Just sitting in the den committing to love each other until death separates us or Christ comes back for us. But, this year is special. 10 YEARS! Wow! Seems like a blink but I also can’t remember life before Tim. When I see picture of me single, I LOVE to remember exactly where I was on the time line of meeting Tim. God was orchestrating EVERYTHING to bring our lives together. He had been since we were born.

I can’t wait to renew my vows to him. We are going to a friend’s house who has a gorgeous log cabin with a huge fireplace. There will be 15-20 people there. Our pastor is going to lead the ceremony. I have a matron of honor and Tim has a best man.

Candles and warmth of a fireplace as we uphold the sacred and holy covenant of marriage.

I am brainstorming about what I want to say to Tim. I sat at the computer the other day trying to come up with words that adequately describe how I feel about him. I can’t. It reminds me of 1 Peter when it says we are filled with INEXPRESSIBLE and glorious joy when we think about Jesus. I can’t put into words how I love my husband. It is inexpressible! I just sit in tears and think, “You have showed me Jesus, honey. You have showed me JESUS.” That may be all I am able to say during the ceremony. But, I am going to do my best to express me heart with a few more words. Tim’s love for me has healed me, taught me, convicted me and changed me. Christ’s love for me through my husband has given me insight into John 3:16- the greatest love story ever told. Christ’s love for me through Tim is the reason I am able to do the “His Proposal” conferences and teach younger girls about the love of Jesus and our marriage to Jesus Christ. God has given me a precious gift and I KNOW it is from Him. I am so undeserving. But it isn't about me. It is so we can serve Him together and magnify Him to the world and exalt HIS Name.

"Oh, magnify the Lord with me, And let us exalt His name together."

Psalm 34:3

We won't be wearing shoes this time as we have discovered how incredibly holy the covenant of marriage is and is to approached with reverence.

I have joked with him over the years that there is one thing I would do different if I could go back in time to our wedding day. I would have RUN down the aisle, not walked. I knew Tim was wonderful and that God had told me to marry him but I didn’t know how He would care for me and love me the way He does. He has never left my side through sickness and storms in my life, through childbearing and rearing, through fear, through fights, through life. He has given me 5 children and POURS into their lives every day.

He has protected me and shielded me from so much evil. The other night I was praying for a friend going through a horrible trial and felt the eery feeling of evil. I immediately wanted to come home and be near Tim because Tim makes me feel close to Jesus. He isn’t perfect and we have had our struggles but he is a man of integrity and purity. His personal walk with Jesus Christ has protected me and the children from SO much evil. Sometimes I forget how protected and safe we are beneath his banner until I am confronted with the opposite and watch what some women go through because of their husbands. Submission for me is the easiest no-brainer act in the world! I run under the protection of my husband. I would be idiotic not to! I gladly obey Tim and call him my “lord” (small L) … Just as Sarah did Abraham.

“Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord” 1 Peter 3:6.

Submission to a godly man is an honor.

(Submission to an ungodly man is hard! but realize you are ultimately submitting to Jesus Christ- don't give up! Your husband may be won over by you)

"Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives." 1 Peter 3

Tim and I have both tainted our marriage with sin and selfishness. We have said horrible things to one another in fights. We don’t fight often but when we do, it leaves a scar. I am SO looking forward to taking communion with him together and asking God to wash our marriage with His blood. We have stained it but Christ can wash it. I am looking forward to a new clean start as we enter into the next years of marriage. The precious blood of Jesus Christ is so powerful. Able to wash the stains out of us AND our marriages.

"In one bold stroke, forgiveness obliterates the past and permits us to enter the land of new beginnings."

Billy Graham

We don’t know what trials the next years hold but we want to re-commit our marriage to Jesus asking Him to be the center of it. That even if the worst of storms is beating down on us, we are perfectly safe because of the rock we have built our house on.

"The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock."

Matthew 7:25

I DON’T HAVE A DRESS YET!! Ahhhhhh! I have been so stressed out. My boys have been helping me choose. I ordered a couple on-line but they aren’t here and Monday is a holiday so that puts me another day behind. I have no idea if they will fit. I have spent hours agonizing over this and looking at dresses on-line. I don’t want to spend much money on the dress but I do want to look beautiful. I am 3 months post-partum so that makes things a little trickier. It isn't really a great time to be a bride but that is how Jesus wants us to come... JUST AS WE ARE.

As I was stressing out about it, it hit me, “what about my dress for Jesus”? What will that dress look like? The day is drawing near for me to see Him face-to-face at my heavenly wedding! How am I preparing for that day?

“Let us rejoice and be glad

and give him glory!

For the wedding of the Lamb has come,

and his bride has made herself ready.

Fine linen, bright and clean,

was given her to wear.”

(Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints.)” Rev 19:7,8

My wedding gown to Jesus is going to be made out of my righteous acts! I imagine myself standing with a tiny shred of fabric at this point. I want a beautiful wedding gown with flowing fabric made of righteous acts! I have got to get busy!! I can’t shop on-line at “cheapweddingdresses.com” for this one.

It is made through submitting myself to Jesus Christ through DAILY choices to love my husband, children, and others more than myself. Being obedient to the Holy Spirit who lives inside me who continues to call me OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE. Jesus Christ continues to call me to walk further and further away from the boat on the water. He has created works for me to walk into… if I obey and keep walking. I don’t want to shrink back or give way to fear. I want to continue to do the righteous acts that He is calling me to do. All the while, my heavenly dress is being stitched together one act at a time.

Since we just decided to do this vow renewal a few days ago, I feel crazy MOTIVATED to get ready. I have changed my diet hoping I can lose my “nursing/love handles” in a week. I have started wearing my retainer, bleaching my teeth, and having Tim spray tan me at night. My wedding preparation is in FULL SPEED! Again, I am spurred on to do this in my spiritual life! To be preparing to meet Jesus with such vigor and purpose! He is coming!!The clock is ticking and am I going to be ready?

Will I have made myself ready?

I have a recurring nightmare that it is my wedding day and I am NOT READY. I don’t want that to be the case when I meet Jesus. I have got to make myself beautiful for Him! 1 Peter tells us that we don’t do that with our outward appearance and fine clothes but with allowing Christ to change us on the inside.

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3

So, as I shop for a dress and jewelry, I am convicted. Will Tim think I am beautiful? Will Jesus think I am beautiful? It won’t be because of my dress.

We are going to take lots of pictures and try and video it so hopefully, I can share our special day with you and have the memory saved forever for us to look back on. I know one thing,

I AM RUNNING DOWN THE AISLE THIS TIME. :)

Be Blessed~

Steph

1 Peter Overview and Testimonies

2012-01-08T22:49:00.003-05:00

1 Peter starts tonight!

2012-01-08T14:20:00.003-05:00

Life is Beautiful.

2012-01-05T15:16:00.007-05:00

I had an unusual second to sit down and write. I wish I did it more often because my blog is my journal. Time is flying by so fast and I want to document it as much as I can!

I am having a good day today. The lady who comes and helps me with my laundry came. She is a gift to me from heaven. She comes 2 mornings a week. I don't know what I would do without her. I thank her 1,000 times while she is here.

The guy who sprays for bugs came today. We got to have an impromptu Bible Study while he and I were watching ants walk across the hardwoods trying to figure out where they are coming from. While we were studying them and watching them, I said "The Bible talks about this very thing! Hang on, I'll be right back." So I rushed to get my Bible and found the verses I was thinking of...

“Four things on earth are small,

yet they are extremely wise:

Ants are creatures of little strength,

yet they store up their food in the summer;"

Prov 30:24,25

So then he started telling me all the crazy cool things he has seen ants do. How they carry huge loads and store up food.

We were about to high five about how cool ants are when I think he started to think I was weird. But, I know he likes me in a "she's-kind-of-weird" way.

So, that was fun.

I liked having Bible Study with the Cook's pest control man.

God's Word is ALIVE!

*****************

I have started running while Tim is home for lunch. I am going a little farther every day. It feels amazing. After being pregnant for so long, I love being able to run again. I am running my first 5K race at the end of Feb.

I have decided that I have come up with a new sport:

Wogging.

It is dangerous.

Wogging is jogging and worshiping at the same time without killing yourself.

Try running with your arms held high and not falling down. It takes the perfect combination of practice, skill, and luck!

The old school worship song Crown Him With Many Crowns by Michael W Smith helps me up the hills. I must look like a NUT to people but I don't care. Some time I really understand why the Word says we are "strangers in the world"!

It is my worship time alone and I get into it. Always keeping my eyes on the clouds! ;)
"My lips will shout for joy

when I sing praise to you—

I, whom you have redeemed."
Ps 71:23

************

We are finally falling back into a routine. I am so proud of my 2 older boys. When Crew got RSV, I had to make a strategic homeschool move and buy the Abeka DVDs. I lost control because I held Crew for 2 weeks straight. I still teach the boys Bible every day which is my passion and I sit in there with them to tutor them with anything they need help with. It is such a blessing. I am also able to spend time with the 3 younger ones and keep up with my housework. The DVDs are expensive but they are worth it and I am so so thankful for them. And, because my boys are both doing 4th grade, I only have to buy one grade. I am hoping to graduate them together. How cool that they have each other to do life with. Sometimes I get jealous of them when we are putting them in their bunks at night. I wish I would have had a bunk room full of my best friends to grow up with!

The conference call Bible Study starts this Sunday! 1 Peter is taking over my LIFE and I love it. I am memorizing, meditating, and studying as much as I can. I can't believe we have 300 girls in the facebook group (GOOD SOIL GIRLS). I know ministry isn't about numbers but I want to share God's Word with as many women as will listen because it will transform their lives like it did/does mine!

I am also burdened to teach as many women as I can to study the Word for themselves so they will truly know it and not think they need someone else to teach it to them! There are so many false teachers out there and if we don't know God's Word, we won't see their whiskers sticking out of the sheep costume.

Would love for you to dive into 1 Peter with us for the next 3-4 months! I can't wait to learn and grow!

God's Word is our light in this very dark world.

Well, I gotta go jump in the shower! I have a date tonight... with my prince.

Grace and Peace be yours in abundance!!!

Steph

Conference Call Bible Study

2012-01-01T11:16:00.000-05:00

"But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop."
Luke 8:15
I am so excited about this opportunity to study God's Word with all of you. Mellette, Jennie, and I have done these conference call Bible studies in the past and they are fantastic because they are so convenient!
Starting Sunday night (Jan 8), we will begin our adventure into the book of 1 Peter. We will begin memorizing and studying. Don't let the word "memorizing" scare you to death. YOU can do it! I got struck by lightning in high school and I think it fried part of my brain AND I have had 5 children and haven't slept in 8 1/2 years. If I can do it, you can do it! :) God will help you! Memorizing the Word of God has radically changed all 3 of our lives. It requires time, determination, and practice but it is more than worth any sacrifice. You will see LIFE spring up all around you as God's Word takes root in your heart. When I see Jesus face-to-face, I want to tell Him "I hid your Word in my heart!!" (Ps 119:11)
You will just need to print out 1 Peter chapter 1 in NIV and have your Bible handy. You can mute your phone and just listen if you want to. You don't have to talk (unless you want to!).
It doesn't matter where you are in your faith. This is for all of us. We ALL need Jesus. We ALL need His Word.
This is going to be a "BIBLE STUDY BOOT CAMP" to jump start our faith in 2012. We will be strengthening our spiritual muscles and growing together. God's Word WILL change your life. You will begin to have victory in areas you never have before. You will have wisdom. You will become more like Jesus.
We will be posting the phone number and pass code for the call as soon as we know it!
SUNDAY NIGHTS AT 9 pm!
"When you walk, their counsel will lead you.
When you sleep, they will protect you.
When you wake up, they will advise you.
For their command is a lamp
and their instruction a light;
their corrective discipline
is the way to LIFE."
Prov 6:22,23

Gifts

2011-12-21T10:02:00.017-05:00

It is thundering outside and ALL of the children are still asleep at 8:18 am. I woke up thinking about how thankful I am the Lord gives us a fresh start every day. He always gives us another chance. He gives us MORE TIME to live for Him and love people. I always know He has been praying for me and singing over me while I am sleeping because I feel His presence as soon as I wake up and usually have a song stuck in my head. Isn't it incredible that Jesus is fighting on our behalf!

He is FOR us!!

Never forget that. It will change your life.

"Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us."

Rom 8:34

Now, don't get me wrong, our house isn't always this peaceful. As a matter of fact, just last week when Crew had RSV, I felt like I was drowning in chaos, exhaustion, and fear. The Lord helped me. He always does. I cried out to Jehovah Shalom to bring His peace and He has. My prayer every day is that Jesus Christ would dwell here with us. That our home would be a dwelling place for His Name.
Even more specifically that our HEARTS would be His dwelling place.

"then there will be the place where the Lord your God chooses to make His name abide."

Deut 12:11

Tim and I got to go on a date last night. We went out to eat, to Costco, and to Target. It was a perfect date. Some girls from the last conference we had gave us a gift certificate to the most amazing Italian resaurant. It is our favorite place to eat in Chattanooga. Tony's Pasta- delicious food and not super fancy. We were so grateful. It is usually too expensive for us to go out and pay for a babysitter so it was a real treat!
(THANK YOU JAMIE, RANCI, CHRISTINE & CAMILLE. KEEP LIVING FOR JESUS!)
I don't need to go to super fancy restaurants anymore. I think they are a waste of money and I get really uncomfortable in fancy places after being a stay-at-home mom for so long. "Fancy" is a thing of the past when you have 4 boys.

Maybe Hope and I can go have tea and do fancy/girly things some day and I can re-learn all the etiquette rules with her.

Last night was my idea of a perfect date. Shopping for Christmas presents (with the man of my dreams) for our 5 "love explosions" :). THAT is much more romantic than a fancy restaurant. Tim and I are more in love than ever. Our marriage is getting sweeter and sweeter, stronger and stronger.
The more kids we have, the more we pray...
and the more we pray together, the closer we get to God and to each other.

We are both desperate for God's help to do this life WELL and bring Him much glory.

Sometimes life seems too good to be true. God has shown me favor. I have NO idea why He loves me.

He loves you too.

I know I am undeserving. I know how I have sinned against Him and broken His heart. I remember how I ran from Him all those years. But, He never stopped loving me and pursuing me. I remember THE YEARS He sought me. I was reminded this morning of a night I was out partying at a fraternity house in Knoxville when I clearly heard a voice speak to my heart, "You don't belong here. I have so much more for you." I wish I could say I responded immediately to that gentle voice, but I didn't. I continued to rebel and run from God's love. It wasn't until a year or so later that I opened the Bible and was truly born again.

"He chose to give us birth through the word of truth" James 1

He chose me...

so I choose HIM!
I was running listening to this song by Big Daddy Weave agreeing with every word:
"When I saw a flash of light and I heard the sound
Of a voice like thunder shake the ground
It was the first time I remember ever feeling my heartbeat
And the arms that gripped me felt like grace
And I realized in their embrace
To be held so tight
I've never felt so free
Also know as the day that you found me"

He has loved me since before I breathed my first breath and He will continue to love me for all eternity. I can't change that love. I never earned it. I am safe in His agape love.

SO ARE YOU.

He adores you. He will never take advantage of you. He wants to GIVE to you- not take.

My first few years with the Lord were tough yet amazing. Jesus turned my life upside down for His glory. He had to take away all the things I had placed in my life that had me on a path toward destruction. He had to cut off A LOT of dead branches (John 15). It hurt to have those things taken away and I didn't understand at the time but now... NOW.... HOW I REJOICE that He redirected my path.

When my daughter is headed toward danger, I take her little hand and gently turn her around toward safety. She had no idea she was ever even headed toward danger.

Neither did I. I was a lost little sheep who needed a Shepherd. He has held me close to His heart ever since.

" He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart;" Is 40:11

I am so humbled by His love. By how He has led me and continues to lead me. By His undeserving gifts. By His grace and forgiveness when I blow it and fall down. How He doesn't abandon me when I fall and just leave me or give up on me. How He doesn't accuse or beat me down. How He loves me more than I love my children.

He wants to FORGIVE and restore.

He wants me to flourish! He wants YOU to flourish.

This morning I read a verse in my quiet time that made me smile...

"How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you." Ps 31:19

The kids are so anxious for Christmas to get here. Last night, Tim and I got all the gifts out and put them on our bed in piles for each child to make sure we had gotten everyone enough. It was so fun to see Hope's pile of purses & Minnie Mouse things, Reece's pile of Star Wars Legos, Lake's pile of musical things, and Evan's pile of legos and other treasures. We have been storing these gifts just waiting to give them to the kids- all of them chosen specifically. They are things the children have asked for. We can't wait for them to see all that we have for them on Christmas morning.

"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"Matt 7:11
What gifts are you asking for this year? :)

When I read Ps 31:19, and how God has stored up His great goodness for us, it made me think of how fun it must be for the Lord to give us the things He has stored up for us. He must LOVE to see our faces when He gives us His good gifts. I know He must of loved to see my face when I walked into Church and saw Tim for the first time.
TALK ABOUT CHRISTMAS MORNING FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!
(Pray and wait on God's best for a husband, precious single girls)

Sometimes we don't realize how good the gifts are that we have been given. I know that my face probably didn't look so excited when I was given a chronic illness that lasted almost 4 years. I can guarantee I didn't ask for that one. But that horrible illness proved to be one of the greatest gifts God has ever given me because it brought me closer to Him and it was in that secret place that He taught me His Word and proved Himself to me.

It is in the darkness that we find His treasures.

"I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." Is 45:3

It is in darkness that we seek out the light.

"You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light." Ps 18:28

It is in the darkness that His Word becomes our light.

"And we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts."

2 Peter 1:19

It is in the darkness of the valley, He anoints our heads and OVERfills our cups.

"You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.."Ps 23

You see, I do believe God's favor is upon me but that doesn't mean I haven't been to some DARK places of suffering. He has led me on VERY unfamiliar paths...

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them." Is 42:16

"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
John 8:12

Life with Christ has been an adventure. He has carried me through every storm and every valley and led me to so many mountaintops in between.

I can't wait to see the goodness He has stored up for me. But, more than anything, I can't wait to see HIM.

Be Blessed on this rainy morning in Chattanooga~

Steph
"You are a masterpiece created in Christ Jesus for good works which He prepared for you before you were even born. Walk in your calling." Tony Evans

Merry Christmas from Bible Man Bubba

2011-12-18T22:45:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas from Our Family!

2011-12-18T15:35:00.001-05:00

Photos by Bonnie McGhee Photography

The Storm is almost Gone.

2011-12-13T22:20:00.010-05:00

Thank you so much for praying for our family... especially for Crew. This has been terrifying for me. I have never had a newborn sick... especially a newborn who struggled to breathe. My nerves are shot. My adrenaline is crashing and I just want to cry. I am still up most of the night with him as he has coughing fits that he can't seem to get out of. It is so sad. My heart breaks as I watch my little baby suffer. I could barely stand to look at his tiny tummy when his rib cage would show as he fought to breathe. I know this isn't a big deal compared to what some moms are going through. I have never seen suffering like this sweet momma, Courtney, is going through. Please pray her and her beautiful son, Tripp. I also have a dear friend, Sarah, who just lost her twin boys when she was 20 weeks pregnant.
As hard as it is for us to watch family and friends suffer, I wonder how hard it much be for God to watch a WHOLE WORLD that He LOVES suffering. He knows this isn't the way it is suppose to be. Sin has wrecked everything.
I think we see the heart of Jesus in Scriptures like this one...

" A deaf man with a speech impediment was brought to him, and the people begged Jesus to lay his hands on the man to heal him.

Jesus led him away from the crowd so they could be alone. He put his fingers into the man’s ears. Then, spitting on his own fingers, he touched the man’s tongue.

Looking up to heaven, he sighed

and said, “Ephphatha,” which means, “Be opened!” Instantly the man could hear perfectly, and his tongue was freed so he could speak plainly!

Jesus told the crowd not to tell anyone, but the more he told them not to, the more they spread the news. They were completely amazed and said again and again, “Everything he does is wonderful. He even makes the deaf to hear and gives speech to those who cannot speak.”

Mark 7:31-37
He sighed. It doesn't tell us why he sighed but I know He isn't impatient.

Those two words help me to draw close to Him during trial. He understands!
The boys and I are memorizing Isaiah 53. It says Jesus was a man of many sorrows and acquainted with suffering. He isn't a God who doesn't understand. He CAN relate to us. He hurts with us. He SIGHS with us. He understands.
But, He also heals.
He may not heal all our diseases but He can definitely use them for beauty and glory. ASK Him to heal you. To heal your marriage. To heal your soul. To heal your body... whatever is sick.
You never know if He will say yes. And His timing is perfect &
Everything He does is WONDERFUL.
*********
I have been thinking a lot about Christmas and how Jesus left heaven to come here in a baby's body. What love. That He would leave heaven for us. Taking the very nature of servant. Being made in human likeness. He humbled Himself. (Philippians)
I have been reminded that just as He came once, He is coming again.
There were prophecies. There were signs. There were people who were ready and people who weren't. There were people who looked for Him and people who didn't.
He is the only way to heaven. There is no other way to God other than through Jesus Christ, this mysterious baby born in a manger.
If you do not know Jesus Christ, today is the day you can repent of your sins and enter into the greatest love story ever told. You do not know how much time you have left. Do not reject His Proposal to come away and be His Bride any longer.
"My beloved speaks and says to me: "Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away"
Song of Solomon 2:10
His love is better than anything you are hanging on to.
His love is better than LIFE.
"Because your love is better than life..."
Ps 63:3
He came once as a baby in a manger. He is coming again as a warrior with fire in His eyes...
As our Jealous Husband.
But you first have to accept His proposal.
(*Single girls- it is the love of Jesus you want, not the love of a man.)

His Second Coming will look very different than His first:
"I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns."
Rev 19:11,12
Ask Him to forgive you of your sin and give Him your life.
He is worthy of our all.
There is no fence. The fence makes Him puke. :)
"So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth."
Rev 3:16
He knows you can't possibly change. He knows you can't stop sinning without Him. That is why He gives us His Holy Spirit and His Word. Just run to Him, today. Take your sin and all. Don't try and hide it. He knows. He loves us while we are sinners. He didn't come for the righteous... He came for us-SINNERS.

"But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners."

Romans 5:8

"On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

Mark 2:17

I ran from God for years. I knew He was pursuing me but I thought the world had something better to offer. I decided I would give my life totally to Christ LATER... not now. I believed the lies of the enemy that God wanted to take from me- not give.

I was afraid of God. I believed He was mad at me-- only wanting to punish me for the years I had ignored His calling on my life. It was when I OPENED THE BIBLE and realized His great love for me, that I was brought to my knees in surrender.

Beautiful surrender.

Funny how when we surrender, all of heaven opens and forgiveness, grace, and blessings rain down.

It is then that we walk through the wardrobe doors into a world we never knew existed. A world where we are the Beloved Bride of the King (of Kings!) and have been given super powers to demolish evil...
and keys to unlock prisoners.

"to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness."

Is 42:7

When we finally begin to live and to do what we were created to do...

"for he is faithful to do what he says, and he has invited you into partnership with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."

1 Cor 1:7

You are invited. You aren't forced. You don't have to go. If you don't have a relationship with Christ, it isn't because He doesn't love you. It is because YOU DON'T LOVE HIM.

Respond to Him tonight and walk through the "spiritual wardrobe" as God opens you eyes to a whole new world full of forgiveness & purpose-
FULL OF HIM!

**FYI-

I am going to be hosting a conference call Bible Study for anyone who wants to learn more about life with Christ, studying the Bible, etc. It is perfect for a new Christian or for someone who wants to learn how to disciple a new Christian. You just call in and listen. No childcare necessary and No reason at all to be nervous. We will go through a 9 week workbook together. Jennie Edwards (Uh-mazing girl), Mellette Johnson (Uh-mazing girl), and I will take turns leading the calls. You don't want to miss this! It will start on Sunday nights some time in January. Write me for details.

I have done this before with some of you. It has been so exciting to watch all God has done in the lives of the girls who have been a part of one of these in the past.

****************

A couple random last things I wanted to write about.

#1.

A friend of ours who heads a ministry to men struggling with addictions said that almost every time a man is in the program struggling with sexual sin, it all started with Victoria's Secret.

Be careful about having the magazines in your house. Protect your husband and sons.

Cancel the magazines, girlfriends.

#2.

Some ideas I have been thinking about in order to help my kids find Jesus in all the madness of Christmas...

1. The Christmas tree being in the shape of a triangle-relating it to the trinity.

And that Jesus Christ died on a tree for our sins.

2. The lights on the tree and houses- sharing with them that Jesus is the Light of the World!

3. The Candy Cane- White reminding us that Jesus lived a life without sin because we couldn't & our sins have been washed away/white as snow! Red for His blood shed instead of ours. And, by HIS STRIPES we are healed. Candy Canes are also in the shape of a "J".

4. The Star on the tree as a reminder of the sign of the Messiah. And that the Word says Jesus was the Creator of all the stars and knows them each by name.

5. Hang FRUIT on your tree and talk about "bearing fruit" on our trees for Jesus.

"...in order that we might bear fruit to God."

Rom 7:4

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last."

John 15

"He will be like a TREE planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Jer 17:8

6. Feasts and family gatherings as a reminder of the great Banquet in heaven that we have to look forward to with our HUGE family. :)

Life is crazy around here. I lost total control of everything while Crew has been sick. God has helped me regain some control today and yesterday. It is so funny how my emotions can swing so quickly from
"Tim, we are in too deep- way over our heads! We are failing at everything. We are losers. :("
to
"honey, we had a GREAT day in homeschool. Having 5 kids isn't that hard after all. :)"

I have learned that raising children is a MARATHON- not a sprint. Just have to keep my eyes on Jesus the author and FINISHER of my faith... and theirs. (Heb 12:2)
Having a large family is HARD WORK. But, it is so SO worth it.

God has richly blessed us.

"but whoever loses his life for me will find it."

Mark 16:25

Be Blessed~

Steph

I HATE RSV

2011-12-10T09:35:00.016-05:00

Just home from the ER after a real scare with Crew around 5:30 am. He just couldn't breathe and his little body seemed in distress. We made the call and flew out the door. I do not need to be in charge of an 8 week old struggling to breathe.
Thankfully, mom is here with us so we could just run out the door. So, here we go flying to the Emergency Room with another one of our children. We have had to do this more than the average parent, I think. First was Evan when he got shigella and had a seizure. I thought he died in the car on the way to the Emergency room. He was about 7 months old, I think. That year, we went to the emergency room 8 times with 105+ fevers, croup, seizure, etc...Then, comes our sweet Lake Christian who has had many bouts with asthma. One that landed us in the hospital for days when Hope was about 5 weeks old. All of our kids get croup so I have spent countless nights up with steroids and breathing treatments asking God to open their lungs and give them breath. Nothing like a sick child to put you on your face in prayer.
Funny thing is that I don't think any of our kids remember these events. So, you have to wonder if God was just using them to mold and shape US and to teach US as parents.
I asked the Lord through tears after Crew's diagnosis that if He would just promise me Crew would not die, I could handle a week of sleepless nights and a baby who struggled to breathe. It is the fear of death that smothers me and sends me into despair. I just read this morning that our English word worry comes from an old Anglo-Saxon word that means "to strangle". Wow, isn't that true? I feel like I am being strangled when I am worrying. I have been worried SICK and it doesn't help or change anything, it just strangles my faith.
I pray as Peter Marshall prayed...
"that ulcers would not become the badge of our faith"
and
"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength"
Corrie Ten Boom
"How do we win over worry? The first step is to realize that God knows our needs, so we can trust Him to meet them. We are sheep in His flock, children in His family, and servants in His Kingdom; and He will see to it that our needs are fully met. It is His PLEASURE to give us His Kingdom, so will he not give us everything we need? (Rom 8:32)"
Warren Wiersbe

One time a friend sent me a prayer request and said, "Steph, I know you are a prayer worrier". HA! It was a typo but she was so right. I have never forgotten that typo. I think it was a sovereign one.
Am I a prayer warrior or a prayer WORRIER? God is teaching me the vast difference.
So, as I drove my newly diagnosed RSV baby home, I just kept saying "You are my help. You are my help. You are my VERY PRESENT help in trouble."
"God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble."
Ps 46:1
*******
So Crew started coughing and gagging and getting choked at 5:30 am. You could see his little ribs as his tummy retracted to breathe and his breaths were short and labored.
So, this morning that all-too-familiar paralyzing fear was there as I prayed to God and cried out to Him to intervene and allow Crew to breathe. I held him in my arms in the car, quoting Scripture and singing praise songs. I kept thinking and speaking,
"Jehovah God, You are our STRONG TOWER."

"The name of the Lord is a strong tower; The righteous run to it and are safe."

Prov 18:10

I keep speaking words of life over him like FAVOR, BLESSING, HEALING, LIFE, POWER, etc...
By the time we got to the Emergency Room, he was smiling, cooing and breathing normally.
Was that answered prayer or just the way RSV works? I'll let you decide.

Life with Jesus Christ is such a blessing. He is always with me and even though I feel like my world is out of control, I know it isn't. I know that He is holding all things together by the power of His Word.

"The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word."

Heb 1:3

Isn't that an awesome truth to know when life seems out of control? I don't know how people who don't walk this life with Jesus, do it. I truly don't.

We are supposedly in the worst part of the RSV (days 3/4).

It has been incredible to know how many people are praying for us. A friend showed up on my front porch last night and told me the Lord adamantly told her to come and pray over Crew. That's awesome! He fights for us and uses the body of Christ to help us in our need. What a blessing to be a part of such a beautiful group of people. She also brought hot Krispy Kremes!

I love my house. I am thankful to have such a wonderful home to be stuck in. I love to sit in front of the fire and light my big candles and just sit in my chair with sweet baby.

It is funny because our fireplace makes it really hot in here after a while so Tim opens doors and acts like he can't breathe. Guys are so different from girls. :) I turn lamps on- He turns lamps off. I light candles, he blows them out.

We need each other. ;)

What a privilege to care for these children. Just when I think "we can't survive this, we are in WAY over our heads", God enables.

Even before all this illness came, I felt so inadequate to meet all the needs of the kids. I layed there thinking, "God, I can't do this. You have picked the wrong girl."

He clearly spoke to my heart.

"I know you can't. That is why I chose you. So I could do it through you and everyone will be able to see MY POWER through your weakness."

I have no idea why he has allowed me to have these sweet children or has believed in us to raise them.

But, He has and He helps us.

I cannot wait until no one is coughing. It has been a LONG week. But, we praise God for His grace to endure trials. I think of moms with chronically ill children. That blows my mind. I have so much respect for moms of children with chronic illnesses or disabilities. Having sick children is the HARDEST part of being a momma.

I am so comforted by this verse this morning...

I keep reading it over and over~

"sustaining all things by his powerful word."

I hope this encourages someone else out there who feels like their life, or their marriage, or their health, or their finances are spinning out of control. Repeat after me..

He sustains ALL THINGS by His powerful word.

Be blessed~

Steph

Please Pray for Crew

2011-12-09T00:47:00.001-05:00

I am sitting here holding my 8 week old delight, Crew. He is very sick.
He has RSV. :(
We have had a very difficult week. Not only learning to juggle 5 kids 8 and under but we have been hit hard with illness. First it was Lake. I spent a night crying out to God on behalf of his little life that has been wrought with illness. He has asthma and major food allergies. Next up was Hope. One night I went from room to room to room praying/caring for Lake, praying/caring for Hope, nursing Crew... all night long. Coughing, Gagging, Fevers, Nose Bleeds, Ear infection, crying, etc... I layed down at 6:30 am when Tim got up and slept until the older children woke up. It was exhausting. Spiritually and Physically.
Then, the next day, I heard it...

Crew coughed.

Praise the Lord, Lake and Hope have finally turned a corner. But now, my sweet darling baby Crew is sick. Really sick. I am praying we are able to stay out of the hospital. I will be sitting in the same chair for one week holding him and praying and reading my Bible. Staring at my big chunky candles remembering that Jesus is the light of the world. And, He is the light of my world and the light in every dark valley I will ever enter.

He is waiting on us in every trial. So is the grace and strength and courage and every weapon we will need for the battle.

I am stretched. I am weak. But, a crowbar could not pry him out of my arms. I can't sleep. I won't. He needs me. I need him.

We need Jesus. He is our Help. He is our Hiding Place.

Please pray right now for my baby. Please. God is able to heal him.

I know Jehovah Rapha personallly.

Would write more but it is hard to type while holding him and I won't put him down. I will update asap.

"You are my hiding place"

Ps 32:7

"Um, What was I talking about again?- Oh, yeah, John 15"

2011-11-21T22:39:00.023-05:00

Fatigue has really set in. I always crash about this time. I do ok for the first month and then- wammo- it hits. I am determined to get baby sleeping through the night but this is not my forte. I need Nanny 911 for this part. My brain has completely stopped functioning and I am afraid to talk in public because people might think I am on drugs. :) Everything intimidates me these days too--from responding to emails to deciding what is for dinner.
I walk around confused most of the day with blurred vision... hearing 1 million voices saying, "momma" all at the same time. Sleep-deprivation+ nursing= crazy steph. It is hard for me to complete a thought right now much less a task. But, by the grace of God we make it through another day and God is showing up in the lives of the children. It is so comforting for me to know it is His power that draws them to Himself.

Tim is amazing. I feel like I am just hiding behind his protection. He is my banner right now (spiritually and emotionally). He is working so hard around here but seems to really love it in a "this- what-I-was-created-to-do" manly kind of way. I see an over-protective side of him coming out toward me. He knows how hard this is for me and how weak I am. It is very humbling to be so loved when you are unlovable. Such a picture of Jesus. My respect for him continues to deepen.

I can't imagine having more children. I am overwhelmed with 5. But, I was overwhelmed with 2, then 3, then 4, and now 5. It is all hard. It is all a transition. I always think I won't survive it but God's grace carries us through things, doesn't it?

I did get a precious opportunity to do a Bible Study with some girls from the last girls conference. It is cool at every conference, the leaders rise to the top. It is always the girls with hearts of obedience. Willing to leave it all to follow Jesus. They begin to hunger for the Word and grow fast. It is incredible to watch the power of God in their lives right before my eyes.

I scribbled some notes on some scratch paper and off I went with no babies to meet my sweet girls in the middle of a tavern where we ate cupcakes and studied our Bibles! I love the freedom we have in this country!

Here are some notes from the study..

John 15

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love."

*I am the TRUE vine. Jesus Christ is the original. We were all created to worship. The question is what or who will we worship? Jesus is the TRUE vine. All others are only a counterfeit or a substitute. We were created to have a living relationship with a LIVING God.

*He cuts off dead branches and prunes healthy ones. I have had some dead branches wacked off more than once. It hurts at the time. But, how I praise God now for his wise gardening moves in my life! When we are weighted down by heavy, dead, dry branches, we are unable to bear much fruit. I had a lot of branches cut off when I first came to Christ. It felt like I was like the tree in my front yard that Tim always chops way back in the Spring. It looks so pitiful at the time but then growth begins.
I am pretty sure all that was left was a stump because nothing I had in my life had any life in it until I fell in love with Jesus Christ.
Whether it is a misguided dream, a relationship, a job... some things will never produce eternal fruit and they have to GO. When we come to Christ with all our dead branches, He begins his perfect gardening work in our lives... and it will continue until we see Him face-to-face.

Not only do the dead ones get chopped but the fruitful branches in our lives get pruned so that we will be even more fruitful! Again, not fun at the time but God chose us to BEAR FRUIT! (John 15:16) That is the purpose of our lives and God is committed to bringing out the BEST in us.

The word often translated pruned is really "PURGED".

"When the grapes begin to get ripe, the vinedresser will pick up the large bunches and wash the dirt off of them so that the grapes that are lying on the ground will not rot. That the word means washed or cleansed is obvious by the next verse, "Now you are clean through the word that I have spoken unto you." Chuck Smith

So, if you are being purged right now and feeling it... BE ENCOURAGED! You are being cleansed! A crop is coming!! And, Your heavenly Father is so near to you as He is carefully cleaning and preparing your healthy branches.

*the progressive process in John 15 is

1. No Fruit

2. Fruit

3. More Fruit

4. Much Fruit.

Which number categorizes your life today?

If that is a discouraging evaluation, here is the GOOD NEWS: God does all the work. You just simply have to sit at His feet and Abide while He does all the cool work in your life!!

This is a process. It is a maturing process that takes time. Be patient. God IS at work in you if you have accepted His Son as your Savior.

*Abide/Remain- What does this mean? How do we do that?

Abide means to keep in fellowship so that His life can work in and through us.

The Greek definition is "relation of one person or thing standing with another, to be and remain united with him, one with him in heart, mind, and will."

How do we do this? Being in His Word, prayer, obedience, worship, and confession.

I LOVE THIS----Another definition of this Greek word (Meno) is

to wait for, await one.

The other morning I woke up and the first thing I thought of was "Is it going to be today, Lord? Will you come back for me today?".
I am a Bride waiting on her Groom and He can come for me at any time. The doctrine of imminence is such a beautiful one. That with a loud command, the voice of an archangel and the sound of The trumpet, we could be caught up together with Him in the clouds. According to the spiritual climate described at His return in Scripture, it must be getting close.

I love waiting on my Beloved. I love that He is coming back for me. That He has gone to prepare a place for me. This truth is comforting, exciting, purifying, & motivating. It has comforted me in my darkest hour and motivated me in my most exhausted hour. We don't know what the "shout or command" will be but I wonder if it will be our name. Just as in an ancient Jewish wedding, the Bride is told to simply be ready and watching and then AT ONCE she hears her name shouted as the Groom with his procession comes for her. AWESOME.
If you want to hear a cool teaching on the parallels found in an ancient Jewish Wedding, click HERE and type in "Wedding Symbolism" in the search box. It is from the conference we do for single girls. I LOVE this teaching.
I named my daughter, Hope, after our true Hope- our Blessed Hope.

"while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ" Titus 2:13

No one can take this precious truth from me. It is part of my core. I have learned this through careful study of His Word.

I love waiting on my Groom to call for me, His Bride. Not everyone believes in an imminent return of Christ. That's ok but it makes me sad for them because living with the expectancy and anticipation that He could come for us at any second is not only Biblical but also beautiful.

It is part of the greatest love story ever told.
“But then I will win her back once again.

I will lead her into the desert

and speak tenderly to her there.
I will return her vineyards to her
and transform the Valley of Trouble

into a gateway of hope.

She will give herself to me there,
as she did long ago when she was young,
when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt.
When that day comes,” says the LORD,
“you will call me ‘my husband’
instead of ‘my master.'...
I will make you my wife forever,

showing you righteousness and justice,

unfailing love and compassion.
I will be faithful to you and make you mine,
and you will finally know me as the LORD."
Hosea 2

Maybe He will come tonight.

I hope so.

I am ready.

"Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready." Rev 19:7

There is also a crown given to those who love His appearing. I want that one. :)

"Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing."

2 Tim 4:8

Oh, I can't wait!

******

Anyway, where was I again?? :) Oh yeah, ABIDE.

How do we know if we are abiding?

Is it a feeling? Not exactly.
More like evidence than a feeling.

1. You will produce fruit.

2. You will be getting purged and cleaner.

3. Answered Prayers

4. You will have a deepening love for Christ, His Word, and other believers.

5. You will have more JOY!

Again, practical ways to ABIDE is to Worship, Meditate on His Word, Spend time ALONE with Jesus in prayer and reading the Word, & SERVE.

Once you begin to truly abide in Christ, you will never want to go back to a half-hearted, shallow spiritual life.

And then, WITHOUT ANY EFFORT OF YOUR OWN...

POP. POP. POP.

Fruit appears. There is always fruit where there is life.

"The fruit that the Father desires is that which develops naturally as the result of relationship.

1. It is not something that is forced.

2. You do not have to struggle to produce it.

3. As you abide in Christ it just develops naturally."

Chuck Smith

This encourages me so much as a stressed-out/maxed-out/stay-at-home mom who loves to do ministry. I have mourned over my lack of time to do ministry outside the home but it isn't ministry that is the goal, it is JESUS. He says that if we abide in Him, we will produce fruit. So, I realized that if I am abiding and falling more in love with Jesus, I will produce fruit. Even if it is as a tired, stressed-out, stay at home mom. That is so freeing. He doesn't want any ministry from me. He just wants me.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

Sometimes we can step out apart from God in ministry and it LOOKS like fruit but the difference in man-made fruit and true fruit from the vine is that God's fruit has MORE SEEDS IN IT. Man-made fruit is dead. It doesn't take long to see the difference. God's fruit goes on from one life to another.

Praise the Lord. How encouraging is this? That if I am faithful and allow the Lord to produce life through me, it will go ON and ON and ON. This makes me excited to see the fruit God can produce through my children.

*Lastly, there are some ways to kill your crops.

SIN prevents the Word from being planted in our hearts...

"So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls."

James 1:21

Here are some other ways to kill your crops...

"and the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things entering in choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful."

Mark 4:19

What an exciting life it is to live with Christ. The boys and I just read a book about a missionary named George Mueller. The amount of fruit in his life was INSANE. I want to be as fruitful as possible.

So, how do we do that? Fall more deeply in love with Jesus. Spend time with Him. Love His Word. Not be polluted by the world. Persevere in trial. Confess my sins. Worship. Obey. Pray. Memorize. Love.

And, watch in amazement at the fruit that pops up all around me.

It is Him. It is ALL Him in us.

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love."

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last."

Jesus Christ

May you bear MUCH fruit and fruit that will last as you ABIDE in Christ. It is the word of God that will bring real and lasting fruit. Fruit that will continue on after you are gone.

"I pray that your life might bear fruit for our Lord. I pray that as you begin to bear fruit, you will bring forth more fruit. I pray that you might bring forth much fruit to the glory of God. I pray that the fruit might remain. The key is abiding in Him and in His word."

Be Blessed and ignore my typos~

Steph

Life Captured

2011-11-12T16:27:00.015-05:00

Pause the music at the bottom and you can watch a video I made of "today".

Is Jesus REALLY real?

2011-11-08T00:06:00.007-05:00

It is early and Tim is pulling out of the driveway for work. The 2 older boys are upstairs giggling (as usual). Lake, Hope, & Crew are all sleeping. I can hear Crew grunting so I think he is about to get hungry. I think he slept over 5 hours straight last night again. He has only done that twice. I am so thankful. Exhaustion was really starting to get to me yesterday. I wondered how I was going to make it until "bed time" but there really isn't a "bed time" with a newborn. I was determined to push through during home school and we made it. I pray God will honor my perseverance because I am not sure of the quality of school they are getting during the newborn fog. I am grateful we did school through the summer and they are way ahead so I can relax a little until I start sleeping again.

I am teaching them the Word so I know SOMETHING is happening.

This is going to be a very random blog post as I have so many thoughts floating through my head and about 5 minutes to type as many as I can. I have been thinking a lot about a pastor who spoke at our Church last weekend and shared his testimony of being the prodigal son and living it up in the world as a model in NYC. He got a phone call that one of the girls he had dated had died of AIDS. He then found out he was HIV positive and his world came crashing down. He gave his life to Christ and his story of redemption and salvation is beautiful. He had such a heart for the lost and my heart was stirred for evangelism as I listened. My heart ached to reach girls with the message of God's love and His plan for their lives before the consequences trap them.

I am currently walking through dark valleys with 3 of my closest girlfriends. Their husbands are not spiritual leaders and have caused much damage to their marriages. To these 3 friends, marriage is a prison and a place of great loneliness, darkness, and pain. :(

My heart is so burdened to teach young girls about God's plan for their lives before they marry someone who can't lead them spiritually. I wish I had time to do more Bible Studies and conferences and discipleship because the need is so great. It is urgent to get to these girls with the truth before the enemy traps them with his lies.

There is much opposition to Christian Marriage. What could be more of a threat to the enemy of our souls? 2 people coming together in spiritual unity to wage war against the prince of this world? The devil will do all he can to stop it from happening and to tear it down if it does.

Yesterday, on my walk, I was listening to some of Selah's hymns and could hardly keep from worshiping in the middle of the road because the sky was so blue, the clouds a beautiful white contrast and the trees... oh my goodness, so gorgeous. We live in a Cove and it is surrounded by mountains. It was seriously spectacular. Our God is truly matchless in power. His glory is revealed all around us if we will stop and look! I could practically hear the mountains singing and the trees clapping their hands in worship of their Creator! I joined them.

"The mountains and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands!" Is 55:12

As I was lost in God's majesty, I noticed some old mail on the sidewalk in front of me. It was a Victoria's Secret mailer with a girl in lingerie on the front. I didn't think much about it until I thought of Tim going on a run later or my boys riding their scooters and seeing it. I turned around and picked it up and carried it all the way home (I think I growled a little). The rest of my worshipful walk I thought of how cunning and crafty the enemy is. Pornography is a BIG business that makes billions of dollars. I saw some statistics yesterday that are jaw-dropping. I will go down FIGHTING for the purity of my husband and my sons. I pray every day that God will not lead them into temptation but deliver them from evil. And, that no weapon formed against them will prosper. I pray that God's grace will teach them to say "no" to ungodliness and worldly passions and that God will give them the ability to distinguish between good and evil. Evil can look so beautiful until it turns on you and destroys your life and robs you of the truly beautiful gifts God has for you. Believe me, I know. I have been duped my fair share of times. Especially as a young girl who thought that beauty was attained through physical/outward appearance instead of "the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:4.

I was also moved as I listened to another pastor talk about Jesus' relationship with Peter. Their relationship always gets to me. When Jesus says, ""But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail" Luke 22:32. Wow. To think of Jesus praying FOR us is incredible. He knew Peter was going to deny Him 3 times and abandon Him at the cross but He still loved Peter and prayed for his faith to prevail. Peter had no idea how weak his faith was when he says..

"Even if all fall away, I will not."
*************
Can you imagine the guilt and the shame Peter must have felt after the rooster crowed the third time and Jesus breathed his last breath?
But, that isn't the end of the story....

"But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.

“Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples AND PETER, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’ ”

"AND PETER". Don't gloss over those 2 words... tell his disciples AND PETER. Why did the angel say, "AND PETER?". We can only speculate but it must have had something to do with his excitement to see Peter restored and for him to know he had been forgiven! The debt had been paid!! Christ was victorious over Peter's sin!

I love Peter's response when he sees Christ...

"Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, "It is the Lord," he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water." John 21

Christ has paid the price for your sins too! You can be restored too! No matter what you have done!

Hear those words spoken to you as you are separated from God by your sin...

"It is the Lord!"

Jump into the water to return to Christ- He has come back for you. He loves you. He has never and will never stop loving you. You have blown it. So have I. So did Peter. He has come for you! And calls you BY NAME! He knows what you have done. You simply have to believe His death was enough for you to be forgiven. Believe!

"That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved"

I was also convicted and challenged as I read these verses in my "quiet" time.

The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.”

"Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave." 1 Kings 19:11-13

It made me wonder if I can hear His gentle whisper when He speaks. Do we sometimes try to hear the Lord in the wrong places? Are we going to places that are too loud to hear His voice. Now, don't get me wrong... there is nothing wrong with seeking the Lord at Church or through a pastor on the radio or through worship music in your car... and often He will meet you in those places. But are we setting aside time to just spend in quiet prayer and in His Word? Just spending time with our first Love? I was remembering this morning that, FIRST, I fell in love with Jesus Christ. Then, He brought me to Tim and then gave me my 5 other loves but Christ WAS FIRST and should always be first. If He gets dethroned in my heart by another love, everything comes crashing down. I am determined to keep Him first by the power of His Holy Spirit in my life. That love relationship will only remain first by spending time together. Time alone together- growing in love.

I just told the boys a second ago, "What if someone asked me if I wanted to know ABOUT daddy or if I wanted to know HIM? I don't want to know about daddy! I want to know him and be with him instead of just hearing about him! I want to know what he loves, what he doesn't love, what makes him laugh, what makes him angry, etc..".
I love the verse that says that we have been given understanding so that we MAY KNOW HIM. It does NOT say that we may know about Him. I quote that one a lot. God has given us our minds/ understanding so that we may KNOW HIM. No other reason is listed in the passage.

"We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true--even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life." 1 John 5:20

*************************************************

A week has passed since I started this post. :) I guess that will be the case in my blogging life for a while...

It is amost 11:30. Everyone is sleeping except for me.

We went out of town for our first trip as a family of 7. It was a lot of work but I wanted to go to my high school friend's wedding so I RSVP'd "yes" and was determined to get there. I was wondering if I had lost my mind when I was packing the night before.

Diapers, pac-n-play, Church clothes, wedding clothes, play clothes, jammies, tooth brushes, medicine, blankets, pillows, and 1,000 other things were packed and ready to go. Tim worked hard getting us packed and out the door Friday morning. We had a great drive. Crew slept the entire 3 hours to my mom's house. The kids LOVE going to my parents' house. They squeal and nearly jump out of their seats when we get there. We pack in like sardines at mom and dad's and have a great time eating and hanging out with family. Kids really don't need much. They just need love and good food.

When it was time to GO to the wedding, Tim went to put his suit on and realized he forgotten it. I was so sad. I thought I was going to have to go to the wedding by myself. He said, "Um... maybe I can wear one of your dad's suits?". That is a funny suggestion because my dad is WAY shorter and a little rounder than Tim. :) But, Tim comes out of my dad's closet somehow looking like a million bucks in a gray suit that fit him perfectly? I think it was a modern day miracle. We went to the wedding and had a ball (until my 3 hour nursing window struck midnight and we had to rush home).

Tim worked so hard all weekend changing diapers, driving, packing, re-packing, cleaning, cooking, brushing teeth, putting people in bed, etc... I can't do much these days because Crew needs me and wants to be held all the time (thanks to you, mom! :). Tim serves like I have never seen before. He loves being with us and sacrifices constantly for us yet never complains or needs accolades. It is the way he loves and he does it well. I feel like the most loved wife on the planet. Some days I worry he is going to remember there is a world out there with order, quiet, golf, fresh air, and fun hobbies. But, he chooses to serve us and it blows my mind. It blows my mind that God has given me such an amazing person to serve Him with as a team. I never believed love like this existed and it doesn't apart from Jesus Christ.

He is our rock. He is our glue. He is our goal.

************************

Crew is growing. I love to watch him slowly chunking up. His little legs are getting bigger and his cheeks are definitely getting bigger. He is the burpiest baby I have ever had. He is happy as long as he is being held so I got some (safe) wraps to keep him in or I am usually holding him. He eats a lot and we aren't on any kind of schedule yet. I hope to have him sleeping in his own bed by 8 weeks. But, for now, he is with me. I love waking up to him and smelling his sweet skin. It was funny when Reece said, "Momma, he doesn't have that good baby smell he had when he was born." I think he does but we probably both smell like old milk. His hair is really blonde at the roots. His eyelashes and eyebrows are white.

************

Hope is full-time fun. She is hilarious and full of life. She is wilder than our boys ever were. I pray that God will give her a gentle and quiet spirit. I am not sure what that will look like with her personality. She sits in her closet and tries on shoes for ages. She loves shoes. She loves balls, snakes, and trucks too. She adores her Minnie Mouse doll and now proudly wears a bow in her hair to be like Minnie. She doesn't acknowledge her new brother much but sometimes she will gently rub his head in the van if she can reach him. Dressing her makes me so happy every day. I walk in and say, "What are you gonna where today, baby?". She always looks like a million bucks even if we aren't leaving the house because I waited so long for a girl. I am not taking her cute clothes and the fun of dressing a baby girl for granted. Her daddy loves her and she loves him. Her eyes are exactly like his. Even their eyelashes are the same.

***************

We had a very memorable day today in home school. After the boys finished their verses, I decided to do something I had never done before. I realized that I hadn't spent much quality time with them lately because of the two little ones so I said, "Guys, would you rather do science and reading or just talk". They said without thinking, "Reading" and then they said, "No, wait, just talk." So, instead of cramming in more information, I pushed the books aside. I said, "Tell me what is going on in your hearts. Tell me how I can pray for you." One child said, "momma, I have really been struggling with a terrible thought that just keeps coming in my mind. I keep thinking, "Is Jesus really real?". One of the other boys said, "me too".

I said, "well, how do we know He is real?". One said, "Because the Bible tells us He is." I said, "That's right. We also know by looking out these windows at the mountains and the sky and all of creation. We also know because of the miracles we have seen."

We began to talk for an hour about how to deal with doubt and how to take every thought captive. I told them that mommy and daddy struggle with doubts and crazy thoughts and that we have to train our minds to respond when the thoughts come. If it lines up with the Bible, then it is TRUE. If it doesn't, it isn't from God. We also talked about the more we know Him and walk with Him, the less believable this lie is. We prayed together and it was beautiful. One of the boys confessed a "sin" that he had hidden for a year (that he never paid daddy back for something). I am telling you the Holy Spirit just showed up today as we sat on my bed and just talked. I cried as we all went to the Lord asking Him to make Himself more real to each of us and to help us recognize the spirit of truth and spirit of falsehood (1 John 4:6) . Their hearts were so pure in prayer. They just want to know Christ.

I was so thankful they felt comfortable telling me the deep things of their hearts. I was also thankful that I home school and that we were able to have this conversation during "school". I am also very thankful they have each other.

I realized I have to stop and ask my kids how they are doing and how I can pray for them. My boys can recite a ton of Scripture but they are still processing it and the enemy is hard at work to rip up God's Word and replace it with doubt. I shared with them the fruit I saw in their lives and how Christ was at work in them and through them. That they were created BY Him and FOR Him (Col 1:16).

Haven't we all asked this question? Is Jesus REALLY real?

Tim talked with them at dinner and had a really cool approach as we told him about our conversation. He said, "History proves Jesus Christ existed. Even non-Christians and atheists believe that. The question is 'Was He really God?'. The Bible says he was and HE said He was. That is why He was crucified- because He claimed to be God."

And, we can't forget the most important evidence of all that He was Who He said He was- THE RESURRECTION. Hundreds of people saw Him after He rose from the dead.

"After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep." 1 Cor 15:6

This sets Christ apart from any other person who has claimed to be God. All the others remain in their graves.

Tomorrow morning in "man time" Tim is going to use the boys' wack-a-mole game as an example of what we do when a thought that does not line up with the Word of God comes into our mind. We wack it and replace it with truth from the Word. :) I hope they will never forget this illustration.

The boys are so pure hearted and it is beautiful to watch them come into their own relationships and walks with the Lord. I am so thankful that it is God who draws them to Himself, not me and I trust Him. After all, Christ is the One that Who said,

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matt 19:14

It is Christ Who calls our children by their names. He invites them to come. I can't wait to see where He leads them and how He uses them. They are spiritually more mature than I was at 20 years old.

Today really challenged me to STOP with my hectic "mom life" often and look in my children's eyes and listen to them. We can be so focused on cramming as much information into one day as possible (especially us home school moms). But, we may lose our children this way or think we are doing a great job teaching them when we really have no idea what is going on in their hearts. Who cares if there scores are grade levels ahead yet their hearts have drifted from Jesus without us knowing it?

Today was a good day.

I love my husband.

I love my children.

I am desperately in love with Jesus Christ

(desperate for Him every day).

"Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”

But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it.”

A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”
Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”
Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name."
John 20:24-31

"Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.

Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear"

Jude 1:21-23

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy" 1 Peter 1:8

Be Blessed~

Steph

How do I love you? Let me count the ways...

2011-10-25T12:18:00.002-04:00

"Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare."

Psalm 40:5

Reece is an incredible leader of this pack. I pray Crew follows in his footsteps. I have so much respect for Reece and his heart for the Lord.

Teaching her to be gentle... not an easy task!

I want to eat Crew up! Look at that sweet little face. :)

"...you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart."

1 Peter 1:22

Crazy how my baby girl grew up while I was at the hospital! She is huge now!

How will my children ever know how I love them? I can tell them 100 different ways, but they will never know...

English - I love you

Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief

Albanian - Te dua

Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)

Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)

Armenian - Yes kez sirumem

Bambara - M'bi fe

Bengali - Ami tomake bhalobashi (pronounced: Amee toe-ma-kee bhalo-bashee)

Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu

Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo

Bulgarian - Obicham te

Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah

Catalan - T'estimo

Cherokee - Tsi ge yu i

Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse

Chichewa - Ndimakukonda

Chinese

Cantonese - Ngo oiy ney a

Mandarin - Wo ai ni

Comanche - U kamakutu nu

Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)

Cree - Kisakihitin

Creol - Mi aime jou

Croatian - Volim te

Czech - Miluji te

Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig

Dutch - Ik hou van jou

Elvish - Amin mela lle (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)

Esperanto - Mi amas vin

Estonian - Ma armastan sind

Ethiopian - Afgreki'

Faroese - Eg elski teg

Farsi - Doset daram

Filipino - Mahal kita

Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua

French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore

Frisian - Ik hald fan dy

Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort

Georgian - Mikvarhar

German - Ich liebe dich

Greek - S'agapo

Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo

Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw

Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe

Hebrew

To female - "ani ohev otach" (said by male) "ohevet Otach" (said by female)

To male - "ani ohev otcha" (said by male) "Ohevet ot'cha" (said by female)

Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw

Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae

Hmong - Kuv hlub koj

Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta

Hungarian - Szeretlek

Icelandic - Eg elska tig

Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw

Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu

Inuit - Negligevapse

Irish - Taim i' ngra leat

Italian - Ti amo

Japanese - Aishiteru or Anata ga daisuki desu

Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene

Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka

Kiswahili - Nakupenda

Konkani - Tu magel moga cho

Korean - Sarang Heyo or Nanun tangshinul sarang hamnida

Latin - Te amo

Latvian - Es tevi miilu

Lebanese - Bahibak

Lithuanian - Tave myliu

Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gaer

Macedonian - Te Sakam

Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu

Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu

Maltese - Inhobbok

Marathi - Me tula prem karto

Mohawk - Kanbhik

Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik

Nahuatl - Ni mits neki

Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni

Ndebele - Niyakutanda

Norwegian

Bokmaal - Jeg elsker deg

Nyonrsk - Eg elskar deg

Pandacan - Syota na kita!!

Pangasinan - Inaru Taka

Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo

Persian - Doo-set daaram

Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay

Polish - Kocham Ciebie

Portuguese - Eu te amo

Romanian - Te iubesc

Russian - Ya tebya liubliu

Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort

Serbian - Volim te

Setswana - Ke a go rata

Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing 'I Love You')

Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan

Sioux - Techihhila

Slovak - Lu`bim ta

Slovenian - Ljubim te

Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo

Swahili - Ninapenda wewe

Swedish - Jag alskar dig

Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di

Surinam - Mi lobi joe

Tagalog - Mahal kita

Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li

Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe

Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen

Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu

Thai

To female - Phom rak khun

To male - Chan rak khun

Informal - Rak te

Tunisian - Ha eh bak

Turkish - Seni Seviyorum

Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu

Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo

Vietnamese

To female - Anh ye^u em

To male - Em ye^u anh

Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di

Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh

Yoruba - Mo ni fe

Zazi - Ezhele hezdege

Zuni - Tom ho' ichema

How much more our heavenly Father loves US, His children!

The ultimate expression of love being found in the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ so that we may be bought back from sin and death.

Unthinkable...He transforms US (sinners) into His pure and holy children through the blood of His Son. How could we not spend all of eternity praising Him for SO great a salvation?

"This is how we know what love is:

Jesus Christ laid down his life for us." 1 John 3:16

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1

Be Blessed~

Steph

"Party of SEVEN... Your Table's Now Available"

2011-10-20T23:11:00.008-04:00

Here I am again in the quiet of the morning. Just finished reading my Bible. The 3 little ones are sleeping and Tim has the older two upstairs in "man time". It is COLD here but I like it. It makes it even cozier in our house.

When I left the hospital last Friday, it was a very interesting feeling. I have a huge adrenaline rush after I have a baby that makes me feel like I can conquer the world. Maybe it is because the delivery is done and baby is here healthy so I can finally breathe... (and dance and shout and sing)! I came home and tried to start getting my bearings with five kids. How in the world am I going to do this????

I started thinking about things in my life that I may need to get rid of (facebook, SUGAR, ministry outside the home, etc...) in order to do what God is calling me to do. It is GAME ON and I need my "A" GAME. I busted out my juicer and went to Costco and stocked up on fresh veggies. (Pear, Apple, Spinach, Celery, and Carrot is a pretty good juice combination.)

I also started to re-group my kids in my head- thinking over and over to myself ,"FOUR boys- one girl, FOUR boys-one girl, THREE older ones- two younger" because I felt like I was going to forget somebody or lose a child. People have started asking us if these are all our children or children from previous marriages. The nurses at the hospital thought we were very interesting. I am starting to feel "peculiar". :) It is really cool though because it opens a door for us to share our faith and our love for our children. People look at us like we are aliens--- BUT THEY LISTEN.

The last week, I have felt like I had been dropped onto a circus trapeze and I need to figure it out quickly or I am going to fall.

"Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall."

Ps 55:22

My endorphins had me going 1 million miles an hour. Straight to a soccer game, then a Church function, cooking, cleaning, chasing kids, baking cookies, picking up heavy children after the nurse instructed me nothing over 10 pounds. About day 4, my adrenaline left and my back hurt. I had done too much- too fast and I was paying for it. Back to the chiropractor I went! My back is starting to feel much better.

I took Crew to his pediatric check-up and the Dr told me he was perfect. I cried driving home and worshiped the Lord for a healthy child. We have good nights and bad. Tim has moved into the bunk room with the boys. I miss him but he is so helpful with the other 4 during the day and he works very hard. He is an amazing provider. I am beyond thankful I can stay home and do not have to work. I loved my job before I had kids but staying home is my dream job.
Some nights I am up most of the night and others only every 3 hours. Sleep-deprivation and fatigue make it tough to be patient with the children. Mom has been here the whole time helping me with laundry, with Hope, with cooking, with homeschool, etc. There is no way we could have managed this transition without her.
She said the sweetest thing today. She said, "I wish I lived next door because you need me and I need them."
It made me want to cry. I do need her and the kids bring her so much joy. She and Hope have become BFFs. Hope will be lost without her. Maybe one day we will live closer to family.
***

My biggest concern about juggling everything has been all the years of Scripture memory I have invested into the older two. They are like my little crop!!! I have slaved in that hot sun planting seeds for YEARS. I started to worry they were going to forget all the Scripture I had taught them because I couldn't spend hours in review with them every day. But the Lord really encouraged me that a seed in itself has no life in it until it dies and GOD produces life from it. We have no control in producing life... even on our best days.

"He also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain"

Mark 4:26-28

I am resting in these verses. But, God is also helping me. I have continued to homeschool and teach the boys since having the baby. Tim spends time reciting verses with them in the morning and I do it in the afternoons. It is only by God's energy working in me.

"To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me."

Col 1:29

The Christian life is definitely a race of perseverance. It is a relay race. I am handing off the baton to my children. I have to run my part of the race faithfully and with perseverance. I truly believe it will be their generation that crosses the finish line with the gospel. May I continue to strive to set them up for victory. The ones who have gone before us are watching from the side lines and cheering us on! We can't slow down now! There is too much at stake.
Eternal rewards and the souls of men.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Heb 12:1

I was also encouraged by Joshua asking God to cause the sun to stand still and God did it. That makes my motherhood prayer requests seem small. If Joshua was able to get the sun to stand still through the power of God, I think God will help me mother all of these children. :) I heard a pastor talking about how God worked through the prophets and priests in the Old Testament and how, in Christ, we have all become priests. That every believer is on the brink of being used in huge ways and seeing miracles of God if they will step out in faith.
I have had a shift in my thinking lately. Instead of operating in the "I can't do this" mentality. I am moving forward by faith that "I can do ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH".
Of course I can't part the Red Sea, but He can! Sometimes I think we forget that God is FOR us and He is ABLE to work through us! He is definitely FOR our marriages and our parenting! He is FOR our children. He is on our team. He chose us in order that we bear MUCH FRUIT AND FRUIT THAT WILL LAST.
"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name."
John 15:16
The enemy tells us God is disappointed in us and is just waiting on us to mess up... again. This causes us to live in defeat and fear which is EXACTLY where the enemy of our souls wants to keep us. That is why we have to stay in the Word- in the Truth. I am more vulnerable to the enemy's lies after I have a baby than ever before. I am tired, overwhelmed, hormonal, and scattered. It is hard to think clearly. I tell Tim he is my spiritual banner during these days and I hide behind his protection. But I have to stay in the Word.

I spoke once for a homeschool group about "Motherhood: A Spiritual Wasteland or Streams of Living Water?". We are CRAZY if we use the excuse of small children to stay out of the Word. It may not be a 2 hour quiet time where we linger over the Word but we can be creative and get in the Word throughout the day. Carry a small Bible with you wherever you go and read it when you can. Seeds Worship is an awesome way to incorporate Scripture into your day and get it stuck in your mind. Post it all over your house! You should see my house~ My fridge door is covered in Scripture. I think I am going to post it all over the outside of my glass shower to read while I am in there. It is painted on our walls.
If we aren't connected to the vine, we will fail as mothers. If you have no desire to be in the Word, then ask God to give you hunger. If you want to know Jesus Christ, you have to get in the Word. Sometimes we can become "spiritually anorexic". Where it has been so long since we tasted food, we no longer have hunger pains. That is a scary place. Ask God to renew your hunger and thirst for HIM and His Word. You need Him now more than ever!
We can't live this life apart from our source of life. Apart from God, we can do nothing!

I was very encouraged by a message I received from a friend/mentor today. Speaking of finding a balance, she said your goal at the end of the day is to have LOVED. That simplified everything for me! That is what it all boils down to. Sometimes that is hard. When your patience is so thin and you are tired.
Trying to not get impatient with a 4 year old who has asked you to play the DS or eat junk food for the 100th time. Or when he wants to know EXACTLY what your breast pump is doing and how it works. Or his brothers are goofing off in school. Or when there are 4 people crammed into the bathroom with you to talk to you about Legos. But, the end goal is not to fit as much Bible knowledge into one day as possible... or do a cool science experiment... or to keep the house clean.... or cook a great meal. It is TO HAVE LOVED.

That is what I want to be marked by: LOVE.

His love.
That is what our children will remember..
I want my children to say, "I grew up in a LOVING home" and to really feel that way.

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love." John 15:9

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." John 15:12

It is bed time now and all the children are sleeping.

I had to stop writing and go take a shower mid-blog this morning because of my "milk de toilette" stinch. It was starting to get to me. Nursing is always interesting but I am so grateful God has restored my health and I am able to breastfeed. I don't take it for granted. I was too sick to nurse Lake and it broke my heart.

Life hasn't stopped today until now.
I was just able to sit down and finish writing. I guess that will be the case from now on. My life is very fragmented.
Crew is sleeping on me while I lay in bed and my eyes burn with exhaustion but

we had a great day.

I am so in love.

With 1 man, 4 boys, and a darling little girl.
"And rejoice before the Lord your God at the place he will choose as a dwelling for his Name--you, your sons and daughters..."
Deut 16:11
"May our home be a dwelling place for Your Name, Jesus.
Live with us."

Be Blessed~
Steph

Week One

2011-10-19T12:40:00.000-04:00

Going to Church...

(***All Chattanooga peeps- if you don't have a Church, you really should visit Calvary Chapel Chattanooga)

My new little boyfriend...

Going "mushing" with daddy.

(Mushing: Go on a journey across snow with a dogsled)

Older boys are staying busy with lots of art. They are both very gifted artists. It is fun to see gifts you don't have in your children.

Lake is just taking it all in and wondering when it will be snack time or time to watch a movie.

Girlfriend likes to know where he is at all times but keeps her distance.

We worried about how she would respond to not being the baby any more. She seems to be doing just fine.... except for her strange new best friend.

The first time they saw their new brother...

The first time she saw him...

It was so cute to see the "momma" in her come out as she immediately got him an outfit out of his drawer. So sweet...

Our new life consists of junk food and multi-tasking...

And we couldn't be more thankful.

A Birthday Party

2011-10-13T17:17:00.002-04:00

Photos by Diana Simpson Photography

Mom and Dad (and their phone game addictions).

Tim never leaves my side during labor. He is my rock and the love of my life.

I LOVE this picture above of mom and Tim.

Crew Joshua Blackiston

2011-10-13T05:07:00.016-04:00

Since everybody wants to know about the delivery... here ya go... raw coverage-

I delivered our sweet baby boy a few hours ago. It always helps me to write and begin to process the miracle of delivery... to REMEMBER before the whirlwind of "life" clouds my memory.

When I got to the hospital today I was 5 1/2 cm and 90% effaced. I came by myself and was here for a couple hours alone while Tim left work, went home, got mom and got our children settled in with the babysitter. It was kind of an eery feeling driving myself to the hospital alone and checking in alone. It was cool though because it took me back to my early days in my relationship with Christ. I was praying and talking to Him on the drive in the car. It was just us and it was sweet. I asked Him to walk with me through the delivery because I was really starting to get scared.
All of the sudden, I didn't want to deliver a baby and the memories of the pain of Hope's delivery came rushing back... especially when I saw the same halls and the same Labor and Delivery Room. Anxiety started to take over as I considered another natural delivery.

The nurse who checked me in was very kind and asked me 1,000 health questions. (Wow, am I thankful that most of my answers to her questions were "no"!) I told her I was going to try another natural delivery because I didn't want a needle in my spine because of having a spinal headache and blood patch in the past. She encouraged me to talk to the anesthesiologist and had him come in. He was an older man who has been doing epidurals for longer than I have been alive. He was very soft spoken, kind, and experienced. I told him my fears and my experience and he graciously answered my questions.

I began to consider getting an epidural for the first time. I didn't want one but I didn't want to go through that blinding pain again either.

Thanks to Eve, there is no easy way out of child birth. I like to blame her for all this, although, if it hadn't of been her- it would have been ME who took that apple. Why do we all still fall for the enemy's SAME tricks?
Anyway, back to the birth story...

I got a text from Tim. He and my mom were stuck in a traffic jam. I was all the sudden very grateful that Jesus doesn't have to drive. LOL. AND that He doesn't sleep.
"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deut 31:8
"Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps."
Ps 121:4
What a cool Husband with a capital "H".
I texted Tim about talking to the epidural guy and he begged me to do it. Actually, his text said

"DO IT!!!! Let's have fun.".

I knew Hope's delivery was not fun for anybody and it was far from "fun" for Tim as I was grabbing his shirt collar, foaming at the mouth, and screaming "HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!" at the top of my lungs for approximately an hour.

So, I began to pray about it... Asking God to give me wisdom. My contractions didn't really hurt at all yet so I was torn.

Tim and mom finally made it and then my beloved OB came and I told him my turmoil about getting the epidural. He asked me what my greatest hesitation was and I told him I was afraid of another spinal headache. He told me he sees about 1spinal headache every 3 years and that he couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't be that one... but it is unlikely.

I had 3 great experiences with epidurals with my first 3 boys so it was really getting tempting. The only problem I had ever had was itching due to the fentanyl in the drug. Our anesthesiologist friend told us it was due to the fentanyl so I asked if they could take that out. The nurse called the pharmacy and asked if they could mix a bag without the narcotics and they said yes. So, after looking into Tim's big blue pitiful puppy dog eyes one last time, I caved. I did want this to be a good experience for him and I wanted to respect his desire. I think my mom did a round off back handspring when I finally said OK while my girlfriends who were there broke out in spontaneous worship. :)

So, at 7 cm and 90%, I got an epidural. My friend Valerie (who introduced me to Tim and has been at all 5 of the births with me) held my hands, prayed and sang while I was scared out of my mind knowing another needle was going in my spine. I really really HATE getting an epidural put in. It scares me to death.

So, after it was in, I could feel my legs start to get numb. I thought--
"I AM HOME FREE NOW! YIPPPPEEEE!! THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN!

Part-aaaayyyyyy Time.
Pass out the party hats and noisemakers."

But, as I got to 8 and then 9 centimeters, my contractions started to HURT. The epidural pump wouldn't stop beeping and no one knew what was wrong with it. It just quit working. The guy said (basically) that it didn't recognize the bag of medicine they had mixed specially for me without narcotics because it was different. WHAT??????????? I sat there quietly while the contractions started to really hurt (since the pitocin was now cranked) thinking...

"Fix the stinkin' pump before somebody dies."

The pump did not get fixed. It shut off after about 10 minutes of working and was just beeping. Thankfully, I did have the medicine that he had given me through a syringe. I was NOT happy about this even though it was my fault for asking to have the fentanyl taken out.

So, now I'm 10 cm and baby is coming and my contractions are really hurting. The only epidural deliveries I knew were pain-free. This is not what I was hoping for. As I began to push, it gets really bad. Not as bad as Hope but starting to get close. My OB informs us that Crew is sunny-side-up and stuck behind my um..."girl" bone (the word "pubic" makes me get the heeby-geebies).

***FYI- I am on pain meds right now so this post may be a little odd. Lol.

I was pushing and pushing and pushing. I have NEVER had to do that before. My other babies have just popped right out... while I was really only holding my breath and pretending to push. This time I was PUSHING and nothing seemed to be happening. I was starting to go into panic again because of the pain. My legs were shaking. I did not like this. I couldn't do it any more. Tim and the nurse are cheering for me. Tim kept asking me if I was ok and every time I would answer, "I just want to know he is ok and healthy". Finally, after what seemed like an eternity and hearing my OB count to 10 four thousand times, Crew slipped around my "girl" bone. And the rest of the birth was easier.

As my doctor is delivering the baby, he tells me he thinks Crew has red hair. We are due a red head. I just want him to be healthy and for the crazy pain to stop.

Even though my epidural was not fully working, I was SO thankful for the little bit it was because I could NOT have had him naturally. I cannot imagine that delivery with nothing.

Crew Joshua Blackiston was born into our world and our hearts at 11:07 and weighed 7 pounds and 12 ounces. I was kind of in my emotional "shut down and recovery mode" as the pitocin was continuing to kick out major after-birth contractions. Ughhh. I was completely spent- total exhaustion. I was happy to have others welcoming him into the world because I wasn't the best welcoming committee as I shook and curled up in a ball.

It has taken me a few hours (and a beautiful percocet to stop the pain) to start to come back to "normal". I have only seen Crew for a few minutes. I don't know if his hair is red. I don't think so. He is definitely our lightest-haired newborn. It is 4:45 am and he is getting ready to come back from the nursery. I am so excited to see him. I saw him as I rolled by the nursery on my hospital bed. He is adorable. He looks so much like Hope to me. Our last 3 (Lake, Hope, and Crew) all look a lot alike. I guess we are "that homeschool family" that has lots of kids that all look alike. :)

Now, as the pain of delivery is over and I sit in my little recovery room alone, I am just stunned by the goodness of God. Why in the world He has given me so much... I have no idea.
In the 15 years I have been married to Christ, I have experienced some very dark valleys. He was there. And I have experienced many mountain tops. He was there. His hand guiding me and holding me fast- never letting go for an instant. What a cool relationship we can have with the Maker of the Universe! Please let me encourage you who are currently in a valley-
He is there.
He is able.
He is good.
There is divine purpose in your suffering.
Don't stop believing.
Don't stop praying.
Never stop hoping.
Just keep walking.
He is leading you to a land flowing with milk and honey.
Stay in His Word.
It will guide you out of the darkness.
He has now brought me into a land flowing with milk and honey and it is beautiful. I can't take it all in. He has rescued me from many pits. Pits I have fallen into and pits I have jumped into. I am so undeserving of His love and His gifts but I am so thankful that God's love isn't based on merit. It is based on His character and His unfailing agape love toward us.

I can't wait for them to bring Crew back to me so I can stare at his fingers and toes and eyelashes and pray over him. I can't help but wonder about the plans God has for him.
Oh, that he may be a light in this dark world and be a part of the generation that sees Christ's return.

I am just sitting in here all by myself listening to worship music, drinking my apple juice with FABULOUS hospital ice (I love the ice here- the best!) and praising God.

"How can I repay the LORD for all his goodness to me?"

Psalm 116:12

THERE IS NO WAY...

BUT I WILL OFFER HIM MY LIFE AS A LIVING SACRIFICE.

Thank you, God, for my precious new son.

Help me to raise Him to know you and love you!

Pictures to come!
(I know some of you may not like the name "Crew" and that's ok. The name has great meaning to us. If you go back a few posts, I shared how we chose his name. Basically, Crew means "chariot" and Joshua is the English spelling of "Yeshua" which is the Hebrew name for Jesus.
Chariot+Jesus.
My heart's desire is that this child will usher in the coming of Jesus Christ. There are a lot of scriptures that mention chariots with the coming of Christ. It reminds me of Christ being the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. His power. His coming reign upon this earth. His royalty.
The coming of Christ is our Blessed Hope!
And I think you can learn to like it if you don't... just because he is really, really cute. :)
"See, the Lord is coming with fire, and his chariots are like a whirlwind;"

Is 66:15

Now it is time to pass out the party hats and noisemakers as we celebrate God's good and perfect gift to us.
Thank you for celebrating with us.
Be Blessed~
Steph

This is the Day that the Lord has Made

2011-10-11T07:55:00.023-04:00

It is 7 am and my 2 little ones are sleeping, Tim is upstairs reciting verses with the 2 older ones, and I just finished reading my Bible and eating a bowl of cereal. It smells like coffee. I don't like the taste of coffee. I have tried to like it because it looks so fun when other people drink it. But, I love the smell of it because it reminds me of Tim.
It is quiet. Really quiet. I love it when it is so quiet that I can hear the sound of the train from miles away. I am thankful for God's peace and the stillness that He brings to my life and to my heart.

Hope has been sick for days and miserable. She just moans. I told my mom she could have been a professional mourner like they had in the Old Testament who would come to funerals and moan and cry for a profession.
She is so cute. So unlike the boys. I am hoping she turns a corner today.

I had just finished nesting and stocking my deep freeze with food from Sam's for Tim and the children for the next month. It was packed. Yesterday, it just stopped working so I have been in panic mode cooking roasts, chicken and anything else I could salvage while we wait for a repair man to fix it. That was not on my list of things to do during the last couple days of pregnancy. My house also smells like barbecue beef this morning because it cooked all night. And now I have 2 more roasts to cook! Oh well, I guess I see it as an opportunity to clean out the freezer and stock pile on frozen meals. I am just so grateful to have food. God has truly blessed us by supplying so much food we need a deep freeze.

I slept through the night last night without going to the bathroom. That is a miracle from heaven and I am so grateful! I am very uncomfortable in the night whether I just can't get situated or am having a calf cramp that sends me to the moon in pain, or going to the restroom, it is always interesting to see what happens after I close my eyes. My baby feels BIG. I think he might just break through my skin like the Incredible Hulk if he isn't born soon. That is what it feels like is happening. You know it is time to have your baby when YOUR TOWELS ARE TOO SMALL- lol. Pregnancy is so fun. Such an adventure! I praise God that He has let me experience the beauty of pregnancy 5 times. Even in the end, I love it. LIFE is a gift.

Tim and I are both growing in our relationships with God. It is such a blessing to have Christ in marriage because it is always getting better... purer... richer... fuller... deeper...sweeter. Now that my mom is here, I spend every spare second with Tim. I just love to be around him. To hear him talk about what God is teaching him and what he is learning in the Word while we drive to Lowe's to get light bulbs. To watch him teach our children. To watch him change into the image of Christ more and more before my very eyes. To listen to him weep over his sin and talk about the holiness of our God. I still love the touch of his hand in mine. We both know that God is calling us to do things we simply cannot do and we are both so desperate for His strength and power.
We are hopeless apart from Christ.

It is incredibly humbling to have been given such a sweet gift that I don't deserve... a godly husband to serve the Lord with and walk toward heaven with every day. I hope we have enough to time to grab hands in the twinkling of an eye as we soar to the clouds to be with the Lord forever. Single girls, don't believe the lie that marriage DEVOLVES. That is not true. Marriage centered on Christ just gets BETTER. I heard 2 men talking about marriage in the line at Wal-Mart the other day in a very negative way. It hurt my heart. It hurt me for their wives. It made me sad that they have been ripped off from knowing the closest thing to heaven on earth.

Has our marriage been perfect? No. We have both tried to destroy it with our stinky, rotten flesh but God is greater and forgiveness is powerful. And the tide of grace washes away the power of our sin. Christ is the strong cord and we are the two weak ones. We break, He mends. We knock, He opens. We cry out, He answers. We trust, He supplies. We confess, He purifies. We fall, He picks us up.

We fail, He gives victory. We love, because He first loved us.
********************************

Here is a cool verse I just found...

"The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law."

Deut 29:29

As I am reading straight through the Bible, sometimes verses jump off the page and speak louder than others. I don't know why that is other than reading the Word is like having a conversation with a Living Person Who speaks to you.
I love reading straight through the Bible. I have done that for years. I like that I never have to wonder what to read next and I also love reading the whole Bible.

This verse reminds me where our focus should be. On the things plainly revealed in Scripture and on teaching them to our children but most importantly FOLLOWING/OBEYING these Words. I have seen (many times) people get caught up in trying to solve mysteries in Scripture or trying to gain some "secret knowledge" superior to the simplicity of the Word. There are things God hasn't made clear to us. Things (as Job said) "too wonderful for me to know!". If we get caught up in chasing after these unrevealed things, we will get off track, get weird, and very UNPRODUCTIVE. People can get more interested in cracking the code of God's Sovereignty vs. Man's Responsibility than they are in "going into all the world and preaching the gospel". There are some things we can't understand. And, when we try to go after the secret things God left unclear for our finite brains, we can get way off track. We don't know much about heaven or our new bodies but we do know what God wants us to do now... OBEY HIS WRITTEN WORD. Tim and I were talking last night about what we think Jesus will look like when we see Him. Will He still have the nail scars He took for me? I do know His face shines like the sun and fire comes from His eyes as a jealous Husband coming for His Bride who has been endangered by a villain. But, I can't wrap my mind around eternity or heaven or the Banquet He is preparing for me... and for you. I CAN wrap my mind around Romans 12:9
"Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good."

I could spend the rest of my life focused on obedience to that ONE verse along with the thousands of others.

Don't get me wrong. You KNOW I feel strongly about being a STUDIER of God's Word. It is our life because it is alive... it is Christ!

"that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He IS YOUR LIFE and the length of your days;" Deut 30:20

So, study it! Memorize it! Meditate on it! OBEY it. But don't go places where our minds simply can't go because God hasn't revealed it. You will get weird fast and off track if you chase mysteries and read books by men who claim to have discovered "the more excellent way". The greatest philosopher in the world is not worth following if he doesn't teach the Word in a clear, simple, understandable way. God's Word is not hard to understand. I would much rather listen to the insights of a child than those of a philosopher who overthinks everything and spends 5 hours explaining why the text is allegorical instead of literal. That is dangerous-run from those teachers.
God's Word isn't complicated.
"The entrance of Your words gives light; It gives understanding to the simple"
Ps 119:130

And don't miss the other part of the verse. Who has He revealed things to? US AND OUR CHILDREN! What a blessing. God is the One who reveals things to our children. He has commanded us to teach them but He is the Revealer and He is faithful. This promise allows me to rest as I spend hours discipling my children. I am to be faithful but He is the One who does the true works in their hearts.

"But even as Jesus took three years off from the work of the universe in order to pass his ministry on to his disciples, to live with them, eat with them, love them, instruct them, so as mothers, if we want the same kind of life-changing impact on our children, it will require the sacrifice of our time, our commitments, and it will be inconvenient and life-consuming. But leaving godly disciples is the greatest work we will ever achieve."

~ Sally Clarkson.

I am headed to the doctor today. I should deliver my baby within the next few days. I have 1,000 emotions that will all come out after he is here I am sure. I feel very close to delivery. I am starting to wonder if my doctor will send me to the hospital when I see him this afternoon.
Tim reminded me of something cool. Remembering that when Christ was speared in the side that water and blood poured out:
"One of the soldiers, however, pierced his side with a spear, and immediately blood and water flowed out."
John 19
This is such a powerful picture. Blood and water are the two fluids present at BIRTH. These two fluids that poured out of Jesus Christ were pointing to the birth of the Church!
My Birth! Your Birth!
It is a message to you if you aren't yet a Christian: That His death had the power to give you life.
I will be thinking of that in the delivery room as I deliver ONE child.
That Jesus went through the ULTIMATE delivery- of the world!
Respond to His love. Receive the new life that He died to give you today.
The water and blood were proof that you can have LIFE and DELIVERY from the prison of your sin.
Praise God He sent His Son for us!
"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
John 10:10
**************

I think I have so many emotions about my delivery at this point, I
m numb and just walking forward by faith. I love this adventure that Jesus Christ invited me into when He proposed to me in college to come away and be His Bride. It truly is the greatest love story ever told. He was right.... I could have NEVER DREAMED any of this.

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"— 1 Cor 2:9

"Here's my heart Lord. Take and seal it. Seal it for Thy courts above."

Be Blessed!
(And please pray for my baby boy)
Steph

The One the Lord Loves

2011-10-09T09:04:00.001-04:00

"Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him,

for he shields him all day long,

and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders."

Deut 33:12

*********************

"I am the eternal God, your Refuge. And underneath you are My everlasting arms.

My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.

So do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to Me. And My peace, which transcends understanding, will stand guard over your heart and your mind.

When you were in great need I saved you. Be at rest once more, My child, for I have been good to you. I have delivered your soul from death, your eyes from tears, your feet from stumbling so that you may walk before Me in the land of the living.

When the cords of death entangle you, when the anguish of the grave comes upon you, when you are overcome with trouble and sorrow, call upon My Name.

I will reach down from on high and take hold of you; I will draw you out of the deep waters. I will rescue you from your powerful enemy, from your foes who are too strong for you. Though they confront you in the day of your disaster, I will be your support. I will bring you into a spacious place; I will rescue you because I delight in you. I will quiet you with my love; I will rejoice over you with singing.

So, My loved one, rest secure in Me, for I will shield you all day long. You are the one I love; come rest between my shoulders."

Dt 33:12,27; Ps 18:16-19; 116;3,5,6-9; Zep 3:17; 2 Cor 12:9; Php 4:6-7

Life while we wait...

2011-10-08T21:55:00.002-04:00

Update!

2011-10-08T16:18:00.003-04:00

So, here am I.

Still pregnant!

Still anxious.

Still blessed.

Still dying to meet my new son.

A week and a half ago I was 3 cm and 80 % effaced. I haven't gone back since because my mom, my OB, and Tim were all out of town this weekend and I just wanted to be still and hope to make it through the weekend without anyone messing with my cervix. :)

My mom just got here and Tim will be back late tonight (he decided to come home early) so PRAISE THE LORD.

Tim is at a men's retreat with our Church- (http://www.manupretreat.com/) and I am so thankful that he was able to go. I wanted him to have time away with the Lord as he needs such direction and vision to lead all of us. I want "THE Shepherd" to lead him so that he can lead us- (his 6 little sheep that will follow him anywhere).

Jon Courson was the speaker and he is one of the best Bible teachers. Here is a link if you want to listen to great Bible teachings...

Click HERE.

Two of my girlfriends stayed here with me last night. One to go to the hospital with me and one who would stay with the children if I went into labor. Hope starting wheezing and barking like a seal so I knew it was going to be a long croup night. All of our kids get croup and it is miserable. It was a LONG night of comforting her while she barked and wheezed. Then, it was daybreak and time to start getting the boys ready for soccer WITHOUT TIM. He does all the logistics around here. I am not good at details so finding uniforms is extremely hard for me. But, we made it and were only 5 minutes late. I missed Tim like crazy. I missed his coaching too. The sub coaches were not nearly as competitive as Tim and me so it was a bit painful to watch. I yelled and coached from the sidelines. If I didn't put myself into labor by yelling "GET THE BALL" 5,000 times at the top of my lungs and running up and down the sidelines, I don't think the baby is coming today.

I have an appointment on Tuesday to find out the latest. I am leaning toward a delivery on Friday (14th)because I found out I am Strep B positive this time so I need to be at the hospital in time to get the antibiotics to protect the baby. So, if I am progressed to 5cm or more, I may let them break my water and make sure I get the antibiotics rather than chancing a delivery in the car and missing the antibiotic. Women have strong opinions about labor so I have learned to get counsel from those who won't force their emotions on me. Some moms go crazy at the mention of "natural delivery" and call you crazy while others boast it is the only way. I am still hoping to have this baby with no epidural but don't know if I will be able to. Like today, I am EXHAUSTED from being up all night with Hope. I don't think I have the energy to do it but maybe I will get a full night's sleep tonight and be ready for the challenge tomorrow. God knows what I need and He is able to help me. I trust Him to lead me through this decision making process.

I made a worship disc to listen to at the hospital. I love Phil Wickham, Christy Nockels, Chris Tomlin, Adie, etc. I have listened to Phil Wickham's song "Heaven Song" a thousand times. Worship music makes me feel close to Jesus and calms my soul. I get my eyes back on Christ and off of myself or my circumstances and it is liberating. He is my everything.

Please pray for my baby. I just want him here and healthy. The finish line is getting closer and I am so thankful. What a gift God has given me. I am humbled that he has entrusted another life to us. May He receive all the glory!

"Who am I, O Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?"

2 Sam 7:18

He is coming...

2011-09-27T09:32:00.008-04:00

I am nervously walking around waiting to go into labor. I don't love this part. Last Friday, I was at 2 cm and 70 percent effaced. The doctor said I could go into labor at any time or it could still be weeks.

God is teaching me patience. I have prayed for Him to lead me as I make decisions regarding labor. There is a huge temptation to go ahead and induce and get an epidural but at this point I am going to try another natural delivery. That makes me want to cry remembering the pain of my last natural delivery but it is the only thing I have peace about. Not sure how women say labor isn't painful when God cursed it with pain because of Eve's sin. Take all the labor classes you want but IT HURTS.
I think some people start smoking Bradley Method CRACK if they think natural delivery isn't painful. :)
"To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children."
Genesis 3

"Terror will seize them, pain and anguish will grip them; they will writhe like a woman in labor." Is 13:8
But, God is able to help me if I do this again. We will see if I change my mind after my first hard contraction.

I am hardly sleeping because I have contractions during the night, crazy dreams, and have to go to the bathroom. I am asking the Lord to keep me in perfect peace. I feel the nearness of Jesus. He is the giver of life, the sustainer of life, and the lover of life. His presence is strong and I know He loves this child. I am so grateful that God healed me from a chronic illness that almost hijacked every dream I have ever had. What a joy it is to be a wife and a mother.

I woke up yesterday to the sound of the children's laughter. I was overwhelmed by God's goodness to me and the love that He has poured into our home.

I will let you know if anything happens!

Exciting times! This part always reminds me of the coming of Christ and how Scripture compares it to a woman in labor! Just as certain as I am about my 4th son coming, I know that my Redeemer is also coming. The contractions are getting closer. Will it be today, Lord?

"No one knows about that day or hour" Matt 24:36

"You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times." Matt 16:3

"Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains" Mark 13:8

"We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time." Romans 8:22

"And now, dear children, continue in him, so that when he appears we may be confident and unashamed before him at his coming." 1 John 2:28

"For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first." 1 Thess 4
"And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." John 14:3
"This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven." Acts 1:11

Are you ready?
*********************************
(Warning! This is kind of lame...
I am reminded about the longing we should have to be with Christ by one of my children losing his favorite stuffed animal that has been a loyal friend to him for YEARS. He left it in a restaurant 2 nights ago and I have called and called and they can't find it. He sobbed under his covers last night, heartbroken about losing his "friend". It is a tiny koala that he would put into all of his airplanes, trucks, etc. It was a surprising friendship as this child isn't really the child I would have thought would have such devotion to a tiny koala that came from McDonalds. He is praying we will find him. We are getting ready to drive all the way across town to Rib and Loin to see if somehow the Lord will help us find it. But, I see his heartbreak and it reminds me of how we should be broken about being separated from Christ. Our Friend Who is closer than a brother.. or a tiny koala.
This place is not our home and right now we are separated from our closest friend. I want to be looking for Him. I want Him to COME BACK. :)

"He who testifies to these things says,

"Surely I am coming quickly."

Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus!"

Rev 22:20

Bible Man Bubba :)

2011-09-24T20:23:00.001-04:00

Soccer!

2011-09-21T12:26:00.000-04:00

"I will take hold of your hand"

2011-09-21T11:56:00.020-04:00

"I, the LORD, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand." Is 42:6

"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand" Ps 73:23

"For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Is 41:13

I saw Hope reach out for Tim's hand while we were at the beach and God spoke very clearly to my heart. I saw the love, trust, and adoration of a daughter reaching out for her Father's hand. It reminded me of my relationship with God. Especially right now in my life.
I am so nervous about God's calling on my life to raise these children to know Him. I know I can't do it in my own strength. I am UNABLE.
It is only by His strength and ability.
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."
John 15:5
This is a picture of our love relationship with God. We have to respond to His love and protection. We have to reach out our hands in recognition of our total dependence on Him.
He is faithful to help us and He is a Father who is so attentive to His children.
Overly protective. Abounding in love. Waiting for us to come.
He will not force you into relationship with Him. He has proven His love to you through the cross and His pursuit of you since your conception but you have to respond to such a great love and slip your hand into His.
He loves you. He will help you. He will keep you safe.
Reach out your hand.
He determined the exact time and place where you should live so that your hand would reach out for His. He is faithful and true and desiring that you come to Him today. He knows your sin and He still loves you. He wants to forgive and begin a relationship with you.
"From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us."
Acts 17:26,27
*************************

I just put Hope down for her morning nap. The boys are upstairs in their room building a city out of big boxes and pillows and blankets. I have had so many things on my heart I want to blog about but my days are so full now with homeschool and sports and laundry, it is hard to find time to sit down and write. I am in my last weeks of pregnancy now. My tummy is getting BIG. My baby boy is moving a lot (praise the Lord!) and is in the head-down-ready-to-pop-out position according to the last ultrasound. I am starting to have random contractions. Some are strong. My pelvic bones are starting to ache because they are shifting. I can't go on my morning walks any more because it makes my back hurt for some reason. So, reality of giving birth to a 5th baby is sinking in. I am starting to get very anxious. I have been "nervous baking". It helps me keep my mind off of things and I love to make desserts. Yesterday, I made homeade apple pie and pumpkin chocolate chip muffins. Both of them were delicious. I can get lost in baking a yummy dessert.
For those of you who have followed my blog for a long time, you remember Hope's birth story. No doctor, no medicine. I still have PTSS from that. I am constantly asked, "Sooooooooo...... are you going to go natural again?". Ughhh. I just don't know. I don't want an epidural because of a botched spinal tap I had a few years ago that caused me to have a spinal headache and patch procedure to fix the hole that it left in my spine. That was excruciating and took months to heal. So, I am leaning toward natural again. My OB told me there is a shot called a pudendal block that is a shot that is given in the final stages of labor to ease the pain of delivery. I don't know if I want that either! (I just googled info about that and saw a picture of how and where that shot is injected. Check it out and tell me if you would want it! LOL) There really is no easy way out of delivering a baby. We will see what happens as I get closer to D day. Should be exciting. EEKS.
I have been having a lot of anxiety about delivery and about having 5 children with no family here. Tim's parents are retired and live in Michigan. We see them about once a year and they just aren't involved with the children. My parents live 3 hours away. My mom is retired now so we get to see her once every 2 or 3 months. My kids are very close to her. She just spent 2 weeks with us at the beach. My dad is still very busy with his company and I am hoping he gets to retire some day soon. Mom is going to help me with homeschool for a while after the baby is born. She was an elementary school teacher forEVER so this is a huge blessing to us.

Tim and I have become a great team. We have learned to depend heavily on each other since there is no one else to depend on. He is VERY involved. He does so much around the house and with the boys. I laughed last night watching him coach 2 soccer teams while holding Hope. She wants to be with him so he just picked her up and was running up and down the field coaching while carrying her. She loved it and I fell in love with him all over again. He is an amazing husband/father. He sacrifices so much for us.

We know this is our family and God has called US to raise the children so He will give us the strength to do it. But, when I think about meeting the needs of 5 children, I get very overwhelmed. Not with meeting their physical needs but DISCIPLING them and teaching them the Word of God.
There are 2 passages that are really ministering to me these days.
"This is what the LORD says—

he who made you, who formed you in the womb,

For I will pour water on the thirsty land,
and streams on the dry ground;
I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,
and my blessing on your descendants.
They will spring up like grass in a meadow,
like poplar trees by flowing streams.
One will say, ‘I belong to the LORD’;
another will call himself by the name of Jacob;
still another will write on his hand, ‘The LORD’s,’"
Is 44:2-5

It helps me realize that His burden is light and His yoke is easy! That, yes, I must be diligent to teach my children but that HE IS THE ONE who pours out His Spirit on our children. He is the One Who pours water into their thirsty hearts and causes them to spring up like grass in a meadow and trees by flowing streams.
God encouraged my heart yesterday when Reece began teaching Lake scripture. I wanted to cry as I watched my oldest child disciple his younger brother with joy and determination.
It is God's desire and plan that our children know Him and walk with Him. OF COURSE, He will help us!
I was reminded that God will help me meet their needs and that He will do it in surprisingly beautiful ways.
I read this passage from Isaiah 44 to the boys and they have been writing "The Lord's" on their hands. It is a powerful reminder for all of us. You may want to do that today. Write "The Lord's" on the back of your hand. To remember Who you belong to and Who will help you do whatever it is He is calling you to do.
Tim asked me how he could help me and I asked him if he would start doing the boys' Scripture Memory with them in the mornings before work. This takes about 1 hour to an hour and a half so it would free me up to be able to teach them more new Scripture during school. I have been worried that I would not be able to continue teaching them the Word like I have been after the baby is born because I will be so tired for THE NEXT YEAR. Year 1 is very difficult for me. Sleep-deprivation and fatigue just about do me in.
The past 2 mornings, Tim has been waking them up for "man time". They throw a sweatshirt on, jog to the end of the street to wake up and then sit on the back porch reciting their Scripture with their dad. Then, he makes them breakfast and they read their Bibles together and write down 5 verses that stood out to them. This all happens before 8 and I am still sleeping!
Wait for God to bring you a godly guy, girls- a man of character who loves God and His Word. It is worth the wait.

Another passage that spoke to me yesterday in homeschool while studying James is James 5:2-5
"Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near."

This speaks to me in many different ways. It is a great reminder in parenting to BE PATIENT. As we teach our children the Word we are to be like farmers and wait for the land to yield its VALUABLE crop. It will! Of course it will! We just must be hard-working farmers as we plant the seeds of the Word into the hearts of our children. God will provide the autumn and spring rains! Farmers are really patient if you think about it. No farmer would put seed down and in the same day or even week expect to see anything. He just plants, prays for rain, AND WAITS. It is so easy for us as mothers to get discouraged thinking, "THIS ISN'T WORKING. My kids just don't get it! This is too hard. Why am I not seeing results yet?????".
Plant.
Pray for rain.
Wait.
It also is such a beautiful reminder of the close return of Christ. I believe God has wanted every generation to think theirs would see His return. Why? Because 1 John says it is purifying! It keeps us holy. It keep us busy! It keeps us close to Him! Now, I believe with all my heart (based on fulfilled prophecy) that Christ's return is IMMINENT. I am so burdened as I watch the evil plan of the enemy unfold. I am burdened for our country especially with our current government leaders and the decisions that are being made that are stripping us of our GOD-given blessing and protection. I want to move to an island in the Caribbean and get my children out of harm's way because I believe we are about to see the judgement of God against our nation. I want to protect my children from the evil that is taking over but that is NOT what God has called us (as Christians) to do. We are to be lights and know that greater is He Who is in us than he who is in the world. We have been given weapons to demolish the enemy's plans and strongholds.
But, God judges sin and we are part of a very sinful, God-rejecting nation. He has been so slow to anger with us but to see the blasphemy and the sin that is so prevalent, I believe His anger is mounting and I am fearful for people who do not know Jesus Christ or have respect for Him. I am specifically sad about the latest decision in our military regarding homosexuality. May God have mercy on our country and may the gospel continue to go out in power through ministries like Franklin Graham and Greg Laurie. I pray God uses our family to spread the light of the gospel as well.
The only hope for our country is REPENTANCE. Not a new President. Although, I pray, by God's mercy, He gives us a leader who knows Him.
But, ME (US) repenting of my sin alone in my room and seeking the face of God is much more powerful than promoting a presidential candidate.
It is "go time". Now is the time to repent of our sin and serve the Lord. Time is running out.
Run your races hard.
Repent from sin and serve the living God and maybe just maybe He will have mercy and heal our land.

"...if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land"
2 Ch 7:14
"Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done." Rev 22:12
************************
We have not told many people our baby's name yet. We chose this name from a passage that I heard taught on in Isaiah...
"See, the Lord is coming with fire, and his chariots are like a whirlwind;"
Is 66:15
I remember being in awe of the strength and power of Jesus Christ and what His return will be like...Total destruction of all His enemies and evil. Yet, how He speaks peace to us, His beloved ones. How can someone be so strong yet so loving and gentle? I loved thinking about His power and His love. It makes me feel so safe.
So, this baby's name means "chariot". Or, at least, that is what the baby name site said.
" He makes the clouds his chariot and rides on the wings of the wind."
Ps 104:3
A chariot makes me think of the coming of royalty. Which is our blessed hope! The coming of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ!
I know some people won't like this name so I am a little insecure about that but we love it and its meaning.
I also love this name because I pray that my children's generation will usher in the coming of Christ! WOW.
So, I have prayed that this little guy will be like John the Baptist. Preparing the way for Jesus Christ to come. Having an undivided heart to reach the lost and preaching the message of repentance in the last days. Our children are going to have to have an understanding of the Word and a resolve to obey for the days ahead that we haven't had to have. May we be faithful to equip them but it is the Lord's power that will give them victory!
"The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord"
Proverbs 21:31
****************
I am almost done with the baby's room. It is SO peaceful. Tim just put a lamp together for me last night and I leave it on! Just waiting on baby now!
And I still need a mirror.:) I love decorating. I also love dressing Hope. I, seriously, have the best time dressing her every day. Her hair is getting thicker so her twigs are getting easier to put in. She takes them out so I am getting a lot of practice. She has a very fun personality. She loves sports, animals, and danger. LOL. She keeps us on our toes. Boot season is almost here (although I already broke her boots out!) and legwarmers! Oh, the fun of FINALLY getting to dress a girl.
The picture below of her cracks me up. No one would ever know what is really happening in this picture....

She looks cute and girly and fun, right?
Well, when she sees bushes, she pulls up her dress LIKE HER BROTHERS DO WHEN THEY PEE-PEE!
Oh my goodness. I about died when I realized what she was doing. She is being raised by the wolves. LOL.

Be Blessed~

Steph

Beach 1

2011-09-11T13:41:00.000-04:00

Beach 1 1/2

2011-09-11T13:06:00.000-04:00

Beach 2

2011-09-10T18:11:00.000-04:00

Bible Man Bubba Brings the Heat from the Word of God

2011-08-24T13:26:00.000-04:00

Untitled from Stephanie Blackiston on Vimeo.

Bubba wrote his first sermon this morning and asked Tim and I to film him. He wants to be a pastor and I believe God has gifted him for it. He has incredible insights for a 6 year old and is constantly sharing what he is learning in the Word with us.

This is the POWER OF THE WORD OF GOD that is doing this in his heart and I couldn't be more excited.

As a parent, you can grow weary in teaching your kids the Word. It is hard work (like a farmer out in the hot sun) BUT It is so exciting when a little tiny sprout pops up and you realize that the seeds are taking root.

This is what he has been learning as we memorize and study the book of James.

Today is the day I HAVE DREAMED ABOUT FOR YEARS!

2011-08-23T12:51:00.000-04:00

PIGTAILS!

As a mom of so many boys, I cannot tell you the sheer THRILL it was to find rubber bands small enough for her hair last night at Target. The experience was everything I have dreamed about since I dreamed of having a baby girl. :)

God is good.

So good.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Ps 37:4

Family/ Maternity Pictures!

2011-08-21T21:30:00.000-04:00

This one makes me happy because I love Tim... and I love Jesus for giving him to me.

This one CRACKS me up. She was all done cooperating for pictures. :)

Reece told me a girl at Church was staring at him and blew him a kiss today. He is the shy-est kid in the world so he just about fainted. He said, "Momma, I was SO embarrassed. He said he wanted to roll his eyes. I told him he should have. Little Miss Church Lolita better stay away from my boys!!!!!!!!!!

I love this one of Bubba below!

Bonnie is so cute... she did this last one for fun. I do hope that the stereotype of a stay-at-home, homeschooling, momma of many is changing though!

Bonnie McGhee Photography

Building an Ark... AKA... Homeschooling your Children.

2011-08-19T19:13:00.010-04:00

I surrendered my life to Christ in college. I grew up in a Christian home and knew the truth but had a very rebellious heart. I finally stopped running Nov 1, 1997. Jesus Christ called me out of the boat to walk on water and dance with him. I prayed and waited on God to send me a godly husband. He blew me away with his gift to me in Tim.

We were on our honeymoon when I was weeping before the Lord asking why He had given me such a good gift that I don't deserve. I was reading straight through the Bible in Malachi when He very clearly spoke these words to me..

"Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring.*" Malachi 2:15

Kids were nowhere on my radar screen. I was going to be married and travel. I was scared to death of having children. But, at that moment, I knew that God had called me to have children and to raise them to be godly. I had no idea how to do that and I still don't. But, God is daily helping me and showing me what to do.

The verse I want to highlight today that God is using in my life as I homeschool is...

"May our sons flourish in their youth like well-nurtured plants. May our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace."

Psalm 144:12

Let's start with the sons... another version says,

"That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth"-

Our sons are as plants that are to cultivate and flourish in our homes. The Hebrew word here means "grown large in their youth" meaning that they may be stout, strong, vigorous, well-formed, EVEN IN EARLY LIFE. They are compared to plants: young, tender, well-nursed, and taken care of, healthful, thriving, and PROMISING MUCH FRUIT. That they may be plants of the Lord, pleasant ones to Him, and profitable to others. God desires that our sons be like strong, well rooted, young trees which promise great things. The peak season for growth is in their youth. If in their young manhood, they are stunted, they may never get over it. Now is the time to pour into our children. TODAY. We cannot miss this vital season to engage and invest the Word of God in our young sons.

"your sons will be like olive shoots around your table" Ps 128:3

"I write to you YOUNG MEN because you are strong and the Word of God LIVES IN YOU and you have overcome the evil one" 1 John 2

"But the godly will flourish like palm trees

and grow strong like the cedars of Lebanon.

For they are transplanted into the Lord's own house.

They flourish in the courts of our God.

Even in old age they will still produce fruit;

they will remain vital and green.

They will declare, "The Lord is just!

He is my rock!

There is nothing but goodness in him!"

Ps 92:12-15

Caring for a palm tree:

The most important factor for a healthy Palm Tree is good soil. The type of soil determines how much nutrients and water the plant receives. While Palm Trees have long been associated with desert conditions, in the wild, they are only found near abundant and continuous supplies of water. If you are thinking about planting a Palm Tree on your property, make sure that the tree will receive adequate water and be prepared to water a newly transplanted tree frequently while it acclimatizes. Frequent watering is crucial for newly-planted Palm Trees. Use a bubbler or arrange a hose to slow soak the area around the tree. It is important not to allow the soil to dry out as this will severely weaken your new Palm. Most hardy Palm growers recommend protecting the palm from the climate for the first years that it is in the ground.

How to grow a cedar tree:

Plant near the water-edge of a river... and basically water, water, water. Protect the roots. Keep soil moist.

So, what does this have to do with homeschooling our children?

A LOT.

We have to soak them in the Word!

"Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

John 4:13,14

"Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do."

Joshua 1:8

Listen to this paraphrase of this verse...

"For our sons are like plantings of date-palms, nourished up from the doctrine of the law from their youth"

The way to nourish your sons is to water them with the Word of God. This is what we are doing everyday when we homeschool. Nourishing our young plants so that they may grow deep roots and become strong!

What about our daughters?

"May our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace."

"That our daughters may be as pillars, Sculptured in palace style;"

"our daughters like corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace;"

My prayer is that God would sculpture my daughter's heart so that she will be ready to make His temple more beautiful. That she would be ready to be a godly wife and helper to her husband when God sends her a husband. I want her to be ready to serve in God's kingdom and that His beauty would shine through her.
Believe me, this is going to only be done by God's power and prayer. :)

How do we accomplish such a high calling? By the power of the Holy Spirit in us and the Word of God. But we must be DILIGENT and faithful to raise up our children to know and love God.

"You shall teach them (what's them? God's commandments- His Word) DILIGENTLY to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." Deut 6:7

This verse jump starts me when I want to do homeschool half-heartedly. Nope- God has asked me to be diligent.

"do not forsake your mother's teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever;

fasten them around your neck.

When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you;

when you awake, they will speak to you. For these commands are a lamp,

this teaching is a light"
Prov 6:20-23

When we teach our kids the Word of God, we are not only teaching them... we are giving them the Teacher that will teach them the REST OF THEIR LIVES.

Guiding them, watching over them, speaking to them, lighting their path as a light. Doesn't that warm your heart as a mother? What happens after I die? Who will guide and watch over my children?
The Word of God that is implanted in their souls.

Like I said, there was only one way I knew I could not fail at homeschool- by using the Word. It became my confidence and I began to see it teaching my children. I began to use it for pretty much everything. Reading, Writing, Math, Grammar, Memorization, Spelling.

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly AS YOU TEACH..." Col 3:16

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for TEACHING," 2 Tim 3:16

"The rain and snow come down from the heavens

and stay on the ground to water the earth.
They cause the grain to grow,
producing seed for the farmer
and bread for the hungry.
It is the same with MY WORD.
I send it out, and it always produces fruit.
It will accomplish all I want it to,
and it will prosper everywhere I send it."
Is 55:10,11

"Therefore the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ," Gal 3:24

Ask Him for His power and energy to be poured into your life as a mother!

"To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me." Col 1:29

"Moses said to the Lord, “O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The Lord said to him, “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord?

Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

Exodus 4

"All your children shall be taught by THE LORD, And great shall be the peace of your children." Is 54:13

I compare how I felt about God asking me to homeschool the children to how Noah must have felt when he heard this...

“Build a large boat from cypress wood and waterproof it with tar, inside and out. Then construct decks and stalls throughout its interior. Make the boat 450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 45 feet high. Leave an 18-inch opening [fn6] below the roof all the way around the boat. Put the door on the side, and build three decks inside the boat—lower, middle, and upper."

Gen 6

Not only had Noah NEVER HEARD OF AN ARK OR A LARGE BOAT, he had never heard of rain. But, God have him exact instructions about how to build something he had never seen before.

God has helped me so much since I stepped out in faith to homeschool. I know he will do the same for you!

He will lead you. Provide all the materials you will need. People may mock you but you just focus on obedience out of love for your God.

And, this just occurred to me too:

After Noah spent almost 100 years building the boat and got all the animals inside and God closed the door, the rain did not come for 7 days!

"After seven days, the waters of the flood came and covered the earth."

Genesis 7:10

I am sure during those 7 days of sitting in a huge stinky boat with a bunch of animals and people outside making fun of you, there could have been some doubt in Noah's mind that maybe he was crazy. Just like there will be for you when you wonder if God is really doing what he promised through homeschool. Are your kids really learning? Are they really going to flourish?

Just concentrate on obedience and leave the rest up to God.

Homeschooling requires A LOT OF FAITH.

And, faith PLEASES GOD!

I do not believe homeschool is for everyone. So, please don't feel criticism from me if you don't homeschool. This is a post for mommas who believe God is asking them to do it or are already doing it and are growing weary.

I knew NOTHING about homeschool when God asked me to homeschool the children. I didn't know how to do anything. Through crying out to God for wisdom (thankfully, He gives generously!), He has begun to show me how to teach my boys. We are starting our 3rd year and we have good days and bad days but the reward of seeing them grow in their walks with the Lord is worth all the bad days combined!
I don't know how long the Lord is going to let me keep these precious children and I don't want to miss a second of being with them and investing into their lives.
I would miss them terribly if they went to school every day. And, they would miss each other!

I am not crafty or detail"y" like most homeschool mommas. But, I do love God's Word. I don't want my kids to be dorks so we try and play a lot of sports and our house is usually full of people (ministry stuff) so they are learning social skills. I am sure they will be semi-dorks though because their momma is. LOL.

"For our sons are like plantings of date-palms, nourished up in the doctrine of the law from their youth; our daughters are beautiful and fit for priests who serve within the temple." Ps 144:12

Here is an impromptu video I did to answer some of your questions all at once. Pardon my crazy hair and nervous sidekick!
http://vimeo.com/27924366

Be Blessed!
Steph

P.S. This is a great article by Jeannie Fulbright...

"I began my homeschooling journey with a deep conviction that this was God's call upon my family. Many of you felt that same calling. You knew that God had a great plan for your children's life and He wanted to lead you as you guide their spiritual and academic development. God hand picked you to be their parents, and no teacher could love them, nurture them or would care about their success more than you. No teacher, except you, could early-on pinpoint their unique talents and gifts and be able to nurture them while still lovingly helping them with their weaknesses. You were uniquely positioned to be a devoted teacher, spiritual mentor and coach for these children which God has given you.

As I stepped out in faith into this wonderful journey of homeschooling, I discovered an exciting new universe: a world of curriculum, educational philosophies, supplementary activities and courses, academic endeavors, field trips, and opportunities abounding for the betterment of my little protégés. With a thrill, I realized that I really could give my children a better education! Only one major problem existed: fitting it all in. So, if we were going to do it all, we had better get on the stick!

Can you guess what fell by the wayside in our zealous efforts? Personal discipleship: Bible reading, morning devotions, deep spiritual discussions, heart training, and even our dear Lord Jesus. Sadly, I caught a terrible case of "Academics Attack", a malady that strikes many a homeschool mom. Indeed, my quest to provide my children the "best" education and the "best" enrichment resulted in an attack on our true purpose for homeschooling - to nurture their hearts for the Lord and help them grow into children that have their own personal walk with God - one that is Spirit led and powerful.

Though I believe God desires our children to do all things with excellence and to infiltrate every arena with light, including fields of study and trade, we must intentionally bear in mind our true purpose as home educators. If we are not proactive, we'll pave our homeschool highway with good intentions unfulfilled. There is a way that seems right to man, and focusing on academics and achievement would seem to provide a bright future for our offspring. Yet, in God's economy, we must continually seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness and all these things shall be added to us as well. Seek ye first.

Our first priority should be training the hearts of our children to love the Lord, to love others and to really, really know God. We should be diligent to make heart training the important first in our day - a quest we purposefully and actively pursue, rather than just waiting and hoping for teachable moments to arise. Frankly, academic or extracurricular interests can quite easily become an idol to our hearts and to the hearts of our children. We find ourselves devoted to these pursuits, dedicating most of our thoughts and attention to these things. It's quite a task to make heart training a priority, but God promises that our diligence to do so will yield tremendous results: He will take care of everything else on our behalf - He will do it. He will fulfill His promises (Psalm 138:8).

When a love for God is truly cultivated, everything else, including academics and other endeavors, will fall into place. In fact, if we neglect the spiritual training, the other pursuits won't yield the fruit that God intended.

I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

John 15:5

Apart from God, all our efforts come to naught. Nothing. Zip. Zero. A law degree? Maybe. But in God's eyes, it's worth nothing apart from Him. If we genuinely focus our homeschooling on spiritual training, it will produce fruit, fruit far superior to that which we could ever manufacture through our own efforts. Spiritual maturity produces academic success with less effort. Spiritual Maturity allows our students to be led by their Maker into that which they were created to be, and it's always better than what we could plan or hope for.

After a year or two of relentlessly working to provide the best education and enrichment for my children - putting spiritual maturity on the back burner, I was at the end of my rope. I found myself driving slowly by the public school. Needless to say, things were not going well. My kids were fighting constantly, no one enjoyed school - including me. I realized that all the field trips we took were just an excuse for a day off and no one learned anything, no one wanted to do their work. Each day we were frantically rushing through the school work because we usually had somewhere to be in the afternoon, and anger was the flavor of ice cream I served up on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. Yum.

Finally, in silent desperation, I did what we do when we find ourselves in a deep, dark pit: I gave up and fell on my face before God. With fresh revelation, I got up with a new plan - morning devotions instead of school. Yes, for a while we just gave it all up and only did devotions. We did them for more than an hour every day.

Within a short time, our entire family life changed. Peace reigned where chaos was once our dictator. Kindness marked our attitudes, and diligence began to sprout in my children's little hearts as they completed their assignments and did what they were asked. When I said it was time for school, I no longer heard the familiar groans. No amount of begging, pleading, rewarding, or threatening to call dad could have produced this behavior. It was the fruit of my children's renewed walk with God. Their faith grew as their prayer lives matured; they began to regularly pray on their own - in every situation, especially before subjects that were the most difficult.

There have been times over the years where we have fallen out of the routine of devotions - either we couldn't find a good devotional book to read, or we went on vacation and couldn't get back in the groove, or I just allowed busyness to distract us. Invariably, within a short time of neglect, things would begin to crumble again. Unfortunately, we simply can't coast on the manna we received last month - we'll ramble along for a bit before we begin to slide downward into another "Academics Attack."

If I could tell moms only one thing that would help their homeschooling, having regular morning devotions would be it. Truly, nothing else has blessed our homeschool experience more."

3D Baby :)

2011-08-19T13:12:00.000-04:00

He is almost 4 pounds and 30+ weeks now!

Time for a Baby Nursery!

2011-08-19T12:45:00.000-04:00

Pics from Conference

2011-08-15T11:10:00.000-04:00

These are the only ones I have. :(

That is beautiful Mellette...

Reece's 8th Birthday Party at Mom's!

2011-08-15T11:06:00.001-04:00